Stupid Things Said to Women

Will you marry me?

I don’t want to hear how you feel about it, I want to give you advice on how to solve the issue

At the Texas Club, can I suck your toes?
Stupid, but it worked

I learned pretty early never answer the question: what are you insecure about? I answered honestly.

I asked a woman how far along she was in her pregnancy and it turns out she was not pregnant at all. It was quite the awkward moment

You have any STDs I should know about?

Just the tip.. I promise..

Time honored advice when dating a middle-Eastern chick: Harum SCARUM!

One time, at band camp ..... no, j/k nevermind.

So I picked up this fairly attractive gal at this bar called Hammerheads out on Long Island back in the mid 70s. We were in Huntington but she lived over in West Islip.

When we left the bar she said she wanted to go back to my apartment .... which, naturally I assumed I was going to score. But about two miles down the road she got stupid eyed, I think the weed and liquor kicked in and she insisted that drive her all the way home.

Instead, because she turned into an abrasive drunk yankee bitch, I pulled over on the side of the road and told her to get out. And, when she screamed and asked if I was serious I said, (and I regret this) I said, "yes ma'am I'm serious. If you're not taking me all the way I'm not taking you all the way."

She was cussing me as I drove away.

quote:

---

Stupid Things Said to Women

---

"I can fix your problem."

"You look fat in that dress."