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re: Beef with girlfriend. Curious to hear from both genders about who's right/wrong.

Posted on 7/29/23 at 5:52 pm to
Posted by OweO
Plaquemine, La
Member since Sep 2009
114069 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 5:52 pm to
Man frick that party. If she loves you she isn't going to let you not going to a birthday party be the reason she leaves you. 2 or 3 weeks after the party it will no longer be an issue.. But she will use it against you 2 years later when trying to argue some stupid shite. You just have to stick to a defense.. Like "Look. He is my friend and he has helped me. Now he needs help and down the road we might need help with something and so on so forgive me if my priority is to help someone out who needs my help over going to your sister's birthday party".

Then you suggest something without setting it in stone. "How about this. We take your sister out for dinner at some point. And that way we can actually get to sit down and enjoy each other's company, have some drinks, etc". Offering another option at least doesn't make it look like you are just trying to get out of going to the birthday party.. If that's the case she will start to think you don't like her family which will lead to other crazy arse thoughts that will lead to who knows what.

But the problem with you young bucks is that yall fight back. That just throws fuel on the fire. Let them get all the bitching out because if yall continue to fight its just going to keep exploding. She will think about it more, get pissed, etc. The key is let them get it out, give them time to realize its not as big of a deal as they are making it and then go on with life.
Posted by 19557LSU
Member since Jan 2018
341 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 5:54 pm to
Why not do both!
Posted by Volvagia
Fort Worth
Member since Mar 2006
51920 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 5:55 pm to
quote:

You know how moving is, I have no idea how many trips it will take, exactly how long it will take.


But it’s easily to identify the stuff that help is needed on.

He doesn’t need help on every last box of misc crap

Like someone else said: it’s really looking like you aren’t really even trying to compromise to find a way to fulfill all your commitments.

And it’s possibly that attitude that is pissing her off.
This post was edited on 7/29/23 at 9:04 pm
Posted by Proximo
Member since Aug 2011
15576 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 5:56 pm to
Whatever you do, don’t listen to anything this mentally handicapped says.

But it sounds like you’re humbling yourself listening to the wisdom from the “old” folks, so you’ll be fine
Posted by Ernest T Bass
Member since Jul 2023
87 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 5:59 pm to
Women are nuts.
To me it's a stupid party, to her it's a big deal.

The same way that their Wedding is the biggest day of their life, while most guys would rather just go to the court house.

I've settled on helping friend as much as I can, and then going to the party.

He should have negotiated occupancy date based on being able to book a mover instead of caving and giving them whatever they wanted.

Posted by real turf fan
East Tennessee
Member since Dec 2016
8732 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:03 pm to
From a female point of view
a life long friend trumps a friend until that friend becomes the woman you intend to marry. But you didn't say you have long term hopes of her being in your life and her sister has had and will have many additional birthdays. She may even need help moving some day.
If the birthday party is in Hawaii and she's already bought your airfare and paid for your hotel room, it would be one thing, which it isn't.
Posted by Mountaineerfan7
Virginia
Member since Oct 2008
683 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:05 pm to
What time is the party? Assuming its in the evening, tell your friend you can help but it'll have to be early. Tell him to have shite boxed and ready so you can just load/unload and get as much done as possible. Maybe even offer to help another day after work, etc for a couple hours if he really needs it. Dip out once party time rolls around. win-win.
Posted by Ernest T Bass
Member since Jul 2023
87 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:05 pm to
I'm shocked at how many women are saying "help your friend move", and how many men are saying "go to the party".

I assumed it would be the opposite.
Posted by Chief Hinge
There and Here
Member since Sep 2018
2925 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:09 pm to
You know what you have to do.
Post the results here afterwards. In video form.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
99301 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:09 pm to
Any chance you can swing into the party for a few just to make an appearance then go help the friend move? Just trying to help you out here.

I’m probably a bad person to ask about this since my fiancé works a job where he’s on call about once a month, so I understand if he can’t go to something like that or has to leave early.

I’d side with helping your friend move if you have to choose.
Posted by Papoo63
Lake Charles, LA
Member since Jan 2022
179 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:10 pm to
frick Birthdays...Is she 13 or 90...She will have another one next year...
Posted by Ernest T Bass
Member since Jul 2023
87 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:10 pm to
I'm telling him that I will help as much as I can, but then I have to bolt.

Maybe that will motivate him to renegotiate the occupancy date and/or find a mover.



Posted by charlesmartinmike
North Alabama
Member since Mar 2009
323 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:11 pm to
I haven’t read the whole thread, so this may have been addressed. Movinghelp.com will have people available that day. Book them now. Get him a couple guys for a couple hours. It will be less than $300.
Posted by Jcorye1
Tom Brady = GoAT
Member since Dec 2007
71547 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:14 pm to
Help in the morning or another day. You agreed to the first thing first, and this isn't life or death.
Posted by tylerlsu2008
Zurich
Member since Jul 2015
1168 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:19 pm to
Both options suck. I wouldn't want to do either.

Cancel them out and go day drink?

I have a hard time believe no movers are available on a months notice. I call absolute bullshite on that.
Posted by Joshjrn
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2008
27224 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:27 pm to
quote:

I'm shocked at how many women are saying "help your friend move", and how many men are saying "go to the party".

I assumed it would be the opposite.


The men are telling you that, when you make commitments, you should stick to them unless it's truly not possible. In this situation, you can easily stick to both commitments. Will that day suck arse? Absolutely. But there's no reason it can't be done.
Posted by Ponchy Tiger
Ponchatoula
Member since Aug 2004
45235 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:28 pm to
She should understand your situation. Tell her this. What if a girlfriend hers was in quick need of some help and she had had always been there for her? You are just returning a favor to a friend who is in a bind. Its not like this is her birthday or a party for ya"ll's kid if you all were married. IMO it is a test for her not you and yes she is seeing how much she can control you. This should be a big red flag. If she is acting like this now, how will it be when ya"ll are engaged or married? My advice get away from her.
Posted by CHEDBALLZ
South Central LA
Member since Dec 2009
21964 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:31 pm to
Throw ya podna $100 and tell him to hire a mover, then go the Birthday party.
Posted by EvrybodysAllAmerican
Member since Apr 2013
11211 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:33 pm to
Bros before hos. You probably won’t remember this chicks name in 5 years but your boy will help carry your casket in 50 years.

Also worth noting , if you don’t help your friend, he’ll forget about it by next week. This girl might be still bitching about you missing that party in 50 years. Choose wisely.
This post was edited on 7/29/23 at 7:40 pm
Posted by Frogonmytoe
Member since Jun 2023
330 posts
Posted on 7/29/23 at 6:33 pm to
There's no "beef".

Either you're going to chill at a party and shoot the shite or you're going to bust your arse to help a friend. If she don't respect your ability to be a friend then she ain't worth your time. Redeeming qualities and all that shite
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