re: Depression is kicking my arse

You are doing the right things, just try your best to be patient. Any new medication will take a couple of months to be much help, and it often makes things worse before they get better.

Self love is huge. Try to look in the mirror several times a day and tell yourself I love you (and mean it). The harder it is to do, the more you need to do it.

Exercise and good diet are of course great advice, but I know from experience that when you're near rock bottom it's really hard to do. Baby steps. Do something you enjoy, like walking in nature or riding a bike.

As you improve and can do some reading, try books on mindfulness. A few good ones: The Power of Now. The Untethered soul. Whereever you go, there you are.

I firmly believe that the root cause of most anxiety and depression is negative thought patterns caused by a focus on the past and/or the future. The only way to reverse these patterns is by retraining your brain over time to be focused on the present.

Good luck.