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re: My Mom has been getting worse with her dementia

Posted on 5/1/24 at 11:09 pm to
Posted by tunechi
Member since Jun 2009
10289 posts
Posted on 5/1/24 at 11:09 pm to
quote:

I lost my mom (54 years old) to early onset Alzheimers


Jesus. I’m admittedly pretty ignorant to the ins and outs of Alzheimer’s. I didn’t realize it got to that point in some people that young
Posted by Thracken13
Aft Cargo Hold of Serenity
Member since Feb 2010
17107 posts
Posted on 5/1/24 at 11:15 pm to
My dad just got worse. His dementia had his memory at about 2 mins, had more caused afib, and his kidneys have to many stones to work right, and may be shutting down. Can't do surgery due to if the sedate he won't make it out. Looks like we are about to hit the end game.

Today really sucks
Posted by Spankum
Miss-sippi
Member since Jan 2007
56942 posts
Posted on 5/1/24 at 11:25 pm to
Man, you and Jim will be in my my prayers tonight….
Posted by caill430
Da Dirty Dell
Member since Jul 2005
1153 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 12:33 am to
I might need to do a spin-off , but my SD moved in with me last year. I thought that damentia, was forgetting my name. I have learned that is Alzheimer’s. Dementia is older people becoming argumentative, pricks, and socks. Am I wrong? Living and trying to cope now and for a year as we speak.
Posted by mattchewbocca
houma, la
Member since Jun 2008
5649 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 1:51 am to
If you know what’s she most familiar and cares about: tv shows, games, try to keep her familiar with things she can maybe latch on to.
Posted by mattchewbocca
houma, la
Member since Jun 2008
5649 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 1:56 am to
My grandmas Alzheimer’s rapidly declined not long after my grandpa passed. She was leaving the house in the middle of the night to walk down the street to the beauty parlor she frequented all her life. She was calling everyday for my mom to come get an invisible baby she’d always complain about. I sat with her a few times and she would be in and out my room in the middle of the night asking me questions.
Posted by This GUN for HIRE
Member since May 2022
3228 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 3:58 am to
May have been mentioned, but you should have a State Cabinet for that. Maybe a caregiver services. I'd try calling them.

Posted by ManWithNoNsme
Member since Feb 2022
562 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 4:53 am to
My mom’s started with simple forgetfulness in 2009. We would even have a good laugh about it when I would come over on Sundays and cook her breakfast. But it became obvious over the next several months it was more than that. My sisters refused to believe it but they didn’t see her as often as I did.

It slowly escalated into calling me at all hours at home and work. Then calling the police and fire department at 2:00am. That’s how Social Services got involved. On a Thursday night I got a call at 10:30pm from a Social Services officer that I needed to come immediately…that’s when the true nightmare began.

As I said earlier…get financial and medical Power of Attorney. You are going to be needing it. Good luck and I’m sorry for what you’re about to endure.
Posted by Hayekian serf
GA
Member since Dec 2020
3047 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 5:01 am to
I’m sorry man. I can’t imagine going watching a loved one go through that.
Posted by cardswinagain
Member since Jun 2013
12347 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 5:15 am to
A cruel and devastating illness. I pray for all of you that are going through it or have went through it.
Posted by Thracken13
Aft Cargo Hold of Serenity
Member since Feb 2010
17107 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 8:26 am to
appreciate it - i was not in a good place last night, and my typing showed it LOL
Posted by TBoy
Kalamazoo
Member since Dec 2007
24758 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 8:43 am to
quote:

How have you dealt with people who go through this? What information could I read up on?

We're dealing with this with my mother right now. Us kids have gotten together to pay for a sitter in the house for 5 hours, 7 days a week. The sitter bathes her every day and does housecleaning and some cooking. We also got a lift so that my dad can transfer her in and out of bed without having to lift her. So far the arrangement is working out. The sitter gets only $9.50 an hour, so that's less than $1,500 a month. With all of us contributing to the cost, it's been affordable.
Posted by bbarras85
Member since Jul 2021
2058 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 9:11 am to
My grandpa is in the last stages of this terrible disease and it is terrible. My grandmother is at the point where she can't take care of him on her own anymore. He wakes up in the middle of the night and wonders around the house. One night he took the ice maker tray out of the freezer and tossed it on my grandma while she was sleeping. Some nights he will just stand in the living room staring off into space.

He is the same way. My mom and her siblings have to give him showers. He has to wear diapers and was going days without changing them. What makes it worse is he is very combative. (even before he was an abrasive person)

My dad was trying to help him in the bathroom the other night and he slammed the door on him smashing his foot in the door repeatedly. I went to my parent's house the other day after work and my mom was already sleeping from being up with him the night before. Both of my parents are still working so it has been really tough.

No nursing home wants him due to his combativeness. I do help when I can as we all live in close proximity to each other. My mom set up ring cameras in their house so that they can keep an eye on him at all times, but don't have to be there 24/7.

The other night he slid out of his recliner and was stuck on the floor. We were able to see it all happen with the cameras. My parents were at my house at the time so I told my mom I would go help him get up. Later that night he was awake sitting in the same chair, drops the tv remote and he gets on the floor on all fours to get it and gets right back up with no issues. It isn't that he can't get up on his own, but he forgets that he can. He calls my poor grandmother names, accuses her of sleeping with the neighbor, fat bitch, etc. It is terrible and do feel for you.
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
100766 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 9:27 am to
My mother's started with a series of seizures, then subtle personality changes, then loss of executive function. She couldn't balance her checkbook and started having trouble following recipes. She was an avid reader, and stopped because she said the books had too many characters to keep up with. The memory problems didn't start until fairly recently and even now she still knows who we are.

The big immediate problem is her hip. She hates doctors and refused to get a hip replacement when she needed one. Now it's basically disintegrated and she's in excruciating pain. I think the pain is impairing her cognitive function and I hope she will bounce back some if we get the pain under control. But all the hospice nurse would tell us was "maybe."
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
100766 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 9:29 am to
Double post
This post was edited on 5/2/24 at 9:31 am
Posted by Zakatak
Member since Nov 2011
271 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 9:47 am to
quote:

I think the pain is impairing her cognitive function


Pain, fever, and or illness definitely make my fathers dementia worse. It is pretty crazy how one day with a fever you feel like you are losing them and the next day they are feeling better and somewhat back to their old self.

Terrible disease. Wish you the best.
Posted by Thracken13
Aft Cargo Hold of Serenity
Member since Feb 2010
17107 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 9:54 am to
I think my dad has just decided it is almost time. at the VA, when discussing his kidneys, he told the doctor that he has had a good life, outlivd his own father (who died of kidney related issues), and thanked him for the care that he has provided, and he was good with whatever was to come.

for us there is no surgery or treatment we can do for him outside medications, which the VA took him off some because it just isn't really going to do any good anymore.

it is a hard pill to swallow - my dad has always been my hero. I joined the Navy because he had enlisted as a kid, and I wanted to do him proud.

Jim , Pisco and others - I truly understand where you are all coming from, not hollow words or sentiments, but literally I do - and you have all the positive vibes I can spare your ways.
Posted by real turf fan
East Tennessee
Member since Dec 2016
9539 posts
Posted on 5/2/24 at 9:55 am to
Something that happened with my late FIL.
Things were going downhill, dementia (probably Lewey Body) was taking hold.
He became physically ill and went into the hospital. There they would not let him walk for "fear of him falling". Once that happened, be forgot how to walk and never got out of a wheelchair again. Which meant only a nursing home to care for him.

Watching my in laws both pass from Dementia was bad. My parents had died from lung cancer and liver failure. I want to go like my Grandmothers: one dropped dead out in her rose garden, the other just after dinner before she did the dishes.
Posted by Jim Rockford
Member since May 2011
100766 posts
Posted on 5/3/24 at 9:41 pm to
Sitting here watching my mom sleep. Hospice told us she has a few days at most. I feel so lonesome.
Posted by SeraphimSarov
Member since May 2024
24 posts
Posted on 5/3/24 at 9:52 pm to
May the peace and mercy of Jesus Christ be on you and your mother. God bless you.
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