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re: Interested to hear your story if you found out your partner cheats with multiple people
Posted on 7/1/21 at 3:40 pm to JAMAC2001
Posted on 7/1/21 at 3:40 pm to JAMAC2001
quote:
I know you mentioned that she is insecure. Based on what I read, her insecurity is dwarfed by yours. No way in hell, based on the evidence you had gathered, should she have initiated the breakup. Hopefully this is just a hard lesson learned. Though, I'd bet that you are at real risk of having this happen again and won't even recognize it until its too late.
Thank you. Yes, I need to figure out why I am insecure to the point that I became a doormat. It was probably not long enough after my divorce to be in a relationship.
This post was edited on 7/1/21 at 3:46 pm
2
Posted on 7/1/21 at 3:52 pm to BusinessKnight
quote:
Yes, I need to figure out why I am insecure to the point that I became a doormat
I was in a similar situation a few years ago. It was the first time that I cared enough about someone to not be as selfish as I was. Instead of taking care of my needs, I brushed them off to make sure I stayed in her good graces. After 5 years, I had enough of it and moved out. She had another dude living and sleeping in our bed within a few months. It was the most hurt I've ever been. My advice is to get a therapist you trust and go for it. Try to move on and learn from it. It's taken me some time but I've found someone who is way better to me and for me, but I could have only found it with working out my issues and "forgiving" her for what I thought were relationship ending issues.
Also, you need to be upfront and clear with your family. When she contacts you again, which she will, you need to stay strong and not go for that one more time sex.
Posted on 7/1/21 at 5:00 pm to BusinessKnight
quote:
Yes, I need to figure out why I am insecure to the point that I became a doormat. It was probably not long enough after my divorce to be in a relationship.
When you’re in shitty relationships where you’re not valued, you develop negative core beliefs about yourself that you don’t deserve better than what you have. And after awhile, they stick. It happens to the best of folks.
I’d suggest taking some time to yourself to really evaluate what you want and to really work on yourself. Particularly your self-esteem. Might be worth seeing a therapist to work on that so you don’t settle into old patterns.
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