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A Few Good Men

Posted on 12/10/23 at 5:03 pm
Posted by warlock1974
Prairieville
Member since Jan 2015
1706 posts
Posted on 12/10/23 at 5:03 pm
LTJG Kaffee: Coach Saban. Did you pay to be picked for the playoffs?
Judge Randolph: You don't have to answer that question!

Coach Saban: I'll answer the question. You want answers?
LTJG Kaffee: I think I'm entitled to them.
Coach Saban: You want answers?!
LTJG Kaffee: I want the truth!
Coach Saban: You can't handle the truth!
Son, we live in a world that has advertisers and boosters and they have to be preserved and satisfied by men like me. Who's gonna do it? You? You? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Florida State and you curse the Selection Committee. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know -- that FSU’s snub, while tragic, probably saved ratings and my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves ratings.

You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me in that playoff-- you need me in that playoff.
We use words like "ratings," "viewers," "money." We use these words as the backbone of a life spent building something. You use them as a punch line.


I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of continued national attention to College Football that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.
I would rather that you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you put on a helmet and report for Spring Training. Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think you're entitled to!

LTJG Kaffee: Did you pay to get in the playoffs??
Col Jessup: I did the job --
LTJG Kaffee: -- Did you pay to get in the playoffs??

Coach Saban: YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT I DID!!!
Posted by The Hurricane
Gulf of Mexico
Member since Aug 2011
8008 posts
Posted on 12/10/23 at 5:03 pm to
You spent way too much time thinking this was funny.
Posted by Red Stick Tigress
Tiger Stadium
Member since Nov 2005
17882 posts
Posted on 12/10/23 at 5:19 pm to
TL/DR
Posted by Adam39
Member since Nov 2019
356 posts
Posted on 12/10/23 at 6:48 pm to
Funny and entertaining. Good job.
Posted by TIGRLEE
Northeast Louisiana
Member since Nov 2009
31493 posts
Posted on 12/10/23 at 7:06 pm to
Geez
I’d pay money to see what some of you nerds look like irl
Posted by TexTgrTed
Parker County, Texas
Member since Aug 2004
5830 posts
Posted on 12/10/23 at 7:11 pm to
One of my favorite movies. Great adaptation.
Posted by Blutarsky
112th Congress
Member since Jan 2004
10009 posts
Posted on 12/10/23 at 7:32 pm to
All of that typing for no one willing to read it.
Posted by TigerVespamon
Member since Dec 2010
6180 posts
Posted on 12/10/23 at 7:55 pm to
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