re: Getting financially screwed in divorce

I really hope her name isn’t on that mortgage otherwise you are looking at a refi

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I expect her to fully fund any of the kids college accounts. I will be busy trying to replenish retirement funds she took at an age 12.5 years older.

Kids will know the full story someday.

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I will buy you every beer on the planet some day.

My decree says that I'll give 25% of any annual bonus to their 529s (12.5% each). Well, even if it's $10k a year, it's meaningless. But not shocking, considering how many financial run ins I had to have with her.

What we expect is not going to happen. We will be the a-hole, in all cases, for a long time. It'll get better, we hope.

No, it's simple, you force the sale of the house, split proceeds. You have to get your name off the deed and the loan, and that's about the only way.

I would downgrade my profession to part-time and start a side - cash only - in your trade/hobby. You want to eventually get a 50-50 revenue, then move up. Build your assets up while keeping 50/50 with your children. I am also in this process and I am currently a beekeeper, farmer, & telecom project manager/consultant. I am aiming for full-time beekeeper with a side job of consulting. Good luck.

Get a good lawyer. Sometimes you get lucky. I got divorced, but kept the house, my car, pretty much everything - it was something like an 80/20, 85/15 split, in my favor. I didn’t even have to pay off the credit card she’d run up, etc. The judge actually awarded me even more than MY lawyer had asked for. My ex was NOT happy. ??

So, what did this broad do to prompt a divorce?

Let’s just spill it here.

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She barely put aside money in separate accounts even though I told her she should. I put money away regularly.

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She knew what was coming.

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It took me until I was in my mid 20s to understand my step dad wasn't the problem, it was actually my mom (both Navy,) and I expect similar to happen with my kids at this point.

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It’s unfortunate women are like that. My mom was like that too and we really haven’t had a relationship in awhile. It’s sad but seems common.

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The most disturbing factor is that my ex doesn't think it matters that my kids don't care about their father. It's mind bending to think about, as my perception is that kids are number one. And then I found out, they didn't matter as much as getting a check, which I didn't expect. So OP, you may be getting financially screwed, but as long as you can regularly see kids that live five miles away, you have hope. I don't.

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Sounds like my parents divorce. I got to see my dad every other weekend all living in the same town. I was around 12 when they divorced and I bolted for the military after graduation. Unfortunately missed a lot of time I wish I could have spent with him during those earlier years.

My older kids are your kids age and I spend a lot of time with them. Take them to school and pick them up. The older they get they understand me more. I think that has a lot to do with kids and dads. My son was a huge mamas boy but last few years he’s starting to get closer to me and it irks my wife a bit.

I hope things change where you get to see them more. They see everything going on.

Those Millenial women just don’t know what the frick they want. All of a sudden she feels like filing for a divorce with no grounds to justify it? The kids don’t deserve that crap. Shame on her for doing that.

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Yep, late 30's/early 40's is when they start craving new dick.

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Every single day here on TD, there's a new cheating thread. It's a got damn epidemic apparently.