Yes I could see the Roth and pension contributions being split evenly if i was the only worker and she was a stay at home mom. Or even if she worked part time.

But the case is we both worked full time. The entire marriage. The same job. I just had more experience and pay and saved.

To come for that portion now is completely immoral. And completely legal.

In these states, the millisecond you marry someone who doesn't save or have as much saved away prior to the marriage.....you are at a complete financial disadvantage and outleveraged.

Just be careful out there folks.

I do have 2 beautiful kids from it, and at the same time they don't deserve this drama. It is hard on them and it breaks my heart to see that.

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Posted by dukke v

PLUTO

Member since Jul 2006

203418 posts

Posted on 2/23/24 at 12:38 pm to crazyatthecamp

Like I said before, those kids are gonna suffer more than you or your spouse. Both of you have to do everything you can to make it as smooth as possible for them. It’s the only chance they have at growing up. There are no do overs for them.

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Posted by Earnest_P

Member since Aug 2021

3557 posts

Posted on 2/23/24 at 1:25 pm to crazyatthecamp

quote:
Yes I could see the Roth and pension contributions being split evenly if i was the only worker and she was a stay at home mom. Or even if she worked part time. But the case is we both worked full time. The entire marriage. The same job. I just had more experience and pay and saved. To come for that portion now is completely immoral. And completely legal. In these states, the millisecond you marry someone who doesn't save or have as much saved away prior to the marriage.....you are at a complete financial disadvantage and outleveraged. Just be careful out there folks.

No offense but everything you say makes me believe that you and she never got the point of marriage. “What’s mine is ours” is a bare minimum aspect of marriage. If you don’t even have that mindset, why did you get married at all?

”my checking account”, “my retirement” etc are incompatible with coming into complete union with another person. And isn’t that union what we are seeking? Isn’t the world a lonely place for most people and getting lonelier?

Young men out there who aren’t seeking a lifelong and ultimate companion and aren’t willing to risk their money for a chance at this certainly should remain alone or in the company of the type of women who will be ok with that. But don’t waste the time and feelings of marriage-minded women if you aren’t actually seeking that in earnest.

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Posted by John Casey

New Orleans

Member since Nov 2016

1638 posts

Posted on 2/23/24 at 1:35 pm to crazyatthecamp

quote:
Yes I could see the Roth and pension contributions being split evenly if i was the only worker and she was a stay at home mom. Or even if she worked part time.

But the case is we both worked full time. The entire marriage. The same job. I just had more experience and pay and saved

But in the court's eyes, there is no distinction between income during a marriage.

Let's say for example Spouse 1 makes $100k and Spouse 2 makes $100k.

Spouse 1 is in charge of family finances.

Spouse 1 decides that 20% of Spouse 1 Salary will go to Spouse 1 retirement and 0% will cover household expenses such as childcare, vacations, etc.

Spouse 1 decides that 5% of Spouse 2 salary will go to Spouse 2 retirement and 15% will cover the household expenses.

In a divorce, should Spouse 1 then be able to keep full retirement with no allocation?

I know it's a simple example, but it's the lens through which it will be viewed.

Best bet will be to try and find as much documentation of pre-wedding balance as possible and try to protect as much between now and when divorce is final.

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