re: Coworker of mine is getting a divorce

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Kids from single fathers have outcomes much better than kids from single mothers.

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True, but it’s not really an apples to apples comparison because, on average, the circumstances leading to single parenthood differ for men and women.

Almost all single dads are either divorced or widowed, meaning that the children are more likely to have had both parents in their lives at some point. This is better for outcomes (again, on average) and less likely to be true single moms…a high percentage of whom are raising kids who don’t even know their fathers.

Single dads, on average, are also older and make more money. Which is a plus for men, but that doesn’t necessarily make one a better, more influential or even a more important parent.

If you’ve seen a study that controls for all of these (age, earnings, education, involvement of other parent), my guess is that the outcomes are probably pretty close with minor differences in different categories that align with the relative strengths and weaknesses men and women bring to the table as parents.

So, no I don’t think single parent outcomes are indicative of this:

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It absolutely matters to have a good Dad around MORE than a mother.

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I’m not sure you can compare the parenting dynamics of single parents to a married couple in this way. There are too many differences.

And, again, why would you feel like you need to? I’m really struggling to understand the point to establishing one sex as being more important than the other in parenting.

Personally, my wife is a GREAT mom. I tell her all the time and maybe more importantly, I tell her that in front of my kids. I want them to see me cheering her on so they know I value her and in turn, they’ll value her. What would I gain from trying to devalue her place in our home?