re: The DFW metroplex is fascinating to me

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The whole area is best described as fake.

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It's generic suburbia, most of the area was built after the 60's.

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Science was WAY behind. Math was on par once in middle school, seriously behind in grade school. Reading/spelling was something you completely taught your kids at home because there was no learning at school. Social Studies was neutered to nothing but Texas, from pre-K to 8th grade.

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Now it sounds like you're just making things up. My kids were ahead of every other kid when we moved from Allen to Lafayette. They were slightly above average in Allen. Our school in Lafayette has an A rating too so it's not a hoodrat school by any means.

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All in all, my wife missed the conveniences when we want them but her, the kids, and I are all much happier back in Louisiana

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Good for you I guess? Louisiana is awesome if you don't have kids or you're not trying to build a career.