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Started By
Message
Consider the tomato of the field: TulaneLSU’s guide to the tomato sandwich
Posted on 7/2/23 at 3:16 pm
Posted on 7/2/23 at 3:16 pm
Dear Friends,
The summer tomato is proof that God is a creator and is good. No matter how hard we study or toil or master any art, each and every creation of ours will be inferior to the summer tomato. It is a thing of beauty, form and function united, and its materials? I have spent the last night contemplating how light, water, soil and a singular seed can produce this edible ruby, a gem of incomparable worth. May we spend time today in ntomatoskepsis.
Our dear friend, Professor Dawghair, shared with us last evening a link that must not be overlooked. In our discussions on the tomato sandwich, he bequeathed us with his 2015 prescis, the defining work on the subject, Approaches to the Construction of Comestibles Composed of Mature Solanum Lycopersicum and Dry Heated Flour Dough Cultured with Yeast. A copy of it and his paradigmatic work on peanut butter are long overdue in the Library of Congress.
If you have failed to click that link for his free e-book, you do yourself a disservice. You will find in it a quintessential guide to the Georgia or South Carolina tomato sandwich, which consists of tomato, Colonial Old Fashioned white bread, Blue Plate (or Duke) mayonnaise, salt, and pepper. His tomatoes are shun and come from his brother or Ruke’s, located in the Holy Trinity AME parking lot. Much practical wisdom is given, though, I rebuke his introductory use of a profanity. Professor Dawghair is a man of discerning taste who accepts nothing but the best, whose insistence that both the alpha and the omega of the season be excellent is laudatory.
The tomato sandwich is first and foremost a Southern invention. It was in the South that bread came to meet that divinely given South American export. Some say it was invented in Virginia in the 1910s, but I would be surprised if it were not in existence long before that year. A beefy, thick tomato slab on a rudimentary slice of bread likely fed many poor Southern farmers or even men and women forced into slavery.
The first publicized tomato sandwich in New Orleans comes from 1918 and was served in a deli for a whopping 15 cents, the equivalent of $3.25 today. In comparison, a Martin Brother’s 20” poorboy cost the same amount in 1930. But the Martins helped popularize the tomato sandwich in New Orleans by giving them to streetcar conductors. Across the way, the Parkway Bakery founders gave striking conductors free fried potato poorboys. Nearby in what is now called Marigny, Miss Mathilda Wappler was city famous for her watercress, cream cheese and tomato sandwiches.
Both of my Grandfathers love and loved tomatoes. Father’s father, whom I also called Grandfather, taught me how to make a tomato sandwich. He was quite philosophical about each step in the process. “Life, like a good tomato sandwich, starts with a seed. If it is cultivated and cared for, nourished and provided for, taught and disciplined, the seed transforms into a crown of majesty.”
At another time, I will perhaps give some planting pointers, but for now, we will focus on the tomato sandwich. Once your peak of season tomatoes have been picked or procured, the first lesson I have is do not refrigerate your tomato. I do not know the chemistry of what cold does to the tomato, but I do know that cold blunts the flavor. Store your tomatoes outside in the shade or at room temperature. If you are a good citizen, and abide by the Department of Labor’s energy conservation guidelines, that means your tomato should not experience a temperature below 80 degrees, and preferably not below 85 degrees. The richness of the tomato comes from those invisible rays of energy emanating from a surface at 10,000 degrees F. Neither its nature nor its telos comes from the cold, nor should it be tortured with such a fate.
Selecting your warm tomato includes three of the five senses: feel, sight, and smell. I like firm and large tomatoes that have just the hint of give in their waists, the fattest part of the tomato. Rather than flick its waist, I softly press my finger into its skin, hoping for a slight give. It should look vibrant – a red tomato ideally has cerise hue with no hints of green present. Cracks sometimes, but not always, are harbingers of a bad tomato. And the closer it smells to petrichor, the better.
At peak season, the bigger the tomato that is vine-ripened, the better the sandwich. If you are dependent on grocery stores which rarely sell tomatoes ripened on the vine to a true ripe, bigger is worse. These unripened industrial tomatoes have a white and crisp mesocarp and placenta. There is no worthy flavor in the industrial tomato and it should not be used in salad, sandwich or for other edible uses except in times of starvation.
The best sandwich tomatoes are around two pounds in weight. When I read articles about tomato sandwiches and the article includes a picture of a sliced three ounce, size-of-a-plumb, store bought, white fleshed “tomato on the vine” that still has its silly stems or pedicels attached, I write letters of concern both to the editor and the author. Two pounds is the aurea mediocritas. Smaller will not fill the bread. Larger will extend too far beyond the bread’s supportive boundaries. Be sure to weigh and measure each tomato for your record keeping.
Professor Dawghair’s monumental work, which includes 45 lithographic plates, reminds us all of the importance of choosing the right knife. I have cut my fingers many times due to poor knife selection, and when it comes to the tomato, serrated is key. The Professor recommends a $20 knife. To be honest, my favorite knife for my tomatoes is a steak knife that is part of a Wusthof set.
The tomato is an organic thing and God placed in us teeth to devour it. The teeth of the serrated knife, likewise, make easy work of the tomato. The above picture has only two knives that should be used to cut a tomato. The top and bottom knives have no teeth, thus, should not be used on the tomato.
To skin or not to skin? Grandfather did not teach me to peel my tomatoes. He sliced and enjoyed the peel with the sandwich. I, however, experimented in my 20s with peeling the tomato before placing it on the bread. It was a eureka like moment. The peeled tomato tasted significantly better and the consistency of the slab of tomato made the chew a more perfect experience. I strongly recommend peeling, but do not waste the pectin-rich peel. Eat it over the sink while you peel it.
The summer tomato is proof that God is a creator and is good. No matter how hard we study or toil or master any art, each and every creation of ours will be inferior to the summer tomato. It is a thing of beauty, form and function united, and its materials? I have spent the last night contemplating how light, water, soil and a singular seed can produce this edible ruby, a gem of incomparable worth. May we spend time today in ntomatoskepsis.
Our dear friend, Professor Dawghair, shared with us last evening a link that must not be overlooked. In our discussions on the tomato sandwich, he bequeathed us with his 2015 prescis, the defining work on the subject, Approaches to the Construction of Comestibles Composed of Mature Solanum Lycopersicum and Dry Heated Flour Dough Cultured with Yeast. A copy of it and his paradigmatic work on peanut butter are long overdue in the Library of Congress.
If you have failed to click that link for his free e-book, you do yourself a disservice. You will find in it a quintessential guide to the Georgia or South Carolina tomato sandwich, which consists of tomato, Colonial Old Fashioned white bread, Blue Plate (or Duke) mayonnaise, salt, and pepper. His tomatoes are shun and come from his brother or Ruke’s, located in the Holy Trinity AME parking lot. Much practical wisdom is given, though, I rebuke his introductory use of a profanity. Professor Dawghair is a man of discerning taste who accepts nothing but the best, whose insistence that both the alpha and the omega of the season be excellent is laudatory.
The tomato sandwich is first and foremost a Southern invention. It was in the South that bread came to meet that divinely given South American export. Some say it was invented in Virginia in the 1910s, but I would be surprised if it were not in existence long before that year. A beefy, thick tomato slab on a rudimentary slice of bread likely fed many poor Southern farmers or even men and women forced into slavery.
The first publicized tomato sandwich in New Orleans comes from 1918 and was served in a deli for a whopping 15 cents, the equivalent of $3.25 today. In comparison, a Martin Brother’s 20” poorboy cost the same amount in 1930. But the Martins helped popularize the tomato sandwich in New Orleans by giving them to streetcar conductors. Across the way, the Parkway Bakery founders gave striking conductors free fried potato poorboys. Nearby in what is now called Marigny, Miss Mathilda Wappler was city famous for her watercress, cream cheese and tomato sandwiches.
Both of my Grandfathers love and loved tomatoes. Father’s father, whom I also called Grandfather, taught me how to make a tomato sandwich. He was quite philosophical about each step in the process. “Life, like a good tomato sandwich, starts with a seed. If it is cultivated and cared for, nourished and provided for, taught and disciplined, the seed transforms into a crown of majesty.”
At another time, I will perhaps give some planting pointers, but for now, we will focus on the tomato sandwich. Once your peak of season tomatoes have been picked or procured, the first lesson I have is do not refrigerate your tomato. I do not know the chemistry of what cold does to the tomato, but I do know that cold blunts the flavor. Store your tomatoes outside in the shade or at room temperature. If you are a good citizen, and abide by the Department of Labor’s energy conservation guidelines, that means your tomato should not experience a temperature below 80 degrees, and preferably not below 85 degrees. The richness of the tomato comes from those invisible rays of energy emanating from a surface at 10,000 degrees F. Neither its nature nor its telos comes from the cold, nor should it be tortured with such a fate.
Selecting your warm tomato includes three of the five senses: feel, sight, and smell. I like firm and large tomatoes that have just the hint of give in their waists, the fattest part of the tomato. Rather than flick its waist, I softly press my finger into its skin, hoping for a slight give. It should look vibrant – a red tomato ideally has cerise hue with no hints of green present. Cracks sometimes, but not always, are harbingers of a bad tomato. And the closer it smells to petrichor, the better.
At peak season, the bigger the tomato that is vine-ripened, the better the sandwich. If you are dependent on grocery stores which rarely sell tomatoes ripened on the vine to a true ripe, bigger is worse. These unripened industrial tomatoes have a white and crisp mesocarp and placenta. There is no worthy flavor in the industrial tomato and it should not be used in salad, sandwich or for other edible uses except in times of starvation.
The best sandwich tomatoes are around two pounds in weight. When I read articles about tomato sandwiches and the article includes a picture of a sliced three ounce, size-of-a-plumb, store bought, white fleshed “tomato on the vine” that still has its silly stems or pedicels attached, I write letters of concern both to the editor and the author. Two pounds is the aurea mediocritas. Smaller will not fill the bread. Larger will extend too far beyond the bread’s supportive boundaries. Be sure to weigh and measure each tomato for your record keeping.
Professor Dawghair’s monumental work, which includes 45 lithographic plates, reminds us all of the importance of choosing the right knife. I have cut my fingers many times due to poor knife selection, and when it comes to the tomato, serrated is key. The Professor recommends a $20 knife. To be honest, my favorite knife for my tomatoes is a steak knife that is part of a Wusthof set.
The tomato is an organic thing and God placed in us teeth to devour it. The teeth of the serrated knife, likewise, make easy work of the tomato. The above picture has only two knives that should be used to cut a tomato. The top and bottom knives have no teeth, thus, should not be used on the tomato.
To skin or not to skin? Grandfather did not teach me to peel my tomatoes. He sliced and enjoyed the peel with the sandwich. I, however, experimented in my 20s with peeling the tomato before placing it on the bread. It was a eureka like moment. The peeled tomato tasted significantly better and the consistency of the slab of tomato made the chew a more perfect experience. I strongly recommend peeling, but do not waste the pectin-rich peel. Eat it over the sink while you peel it.
This post was edited on 7/2/23 at 3:51 pm
8
Posted on 7/2/23 at 3:16 pm to TulaneLSU
While it may come as second nature to most tomato sandwich lovers, Professor Dawghair teaches the truth in both the manner of slicing a tomato and which section of the tomato is to be valued above the others. One would assume the tomato is to sliced while it is in anatomic position: its sepal pointing up and its stigma as its seat. Instead, one should rotate the tomato 90 degrees to its side. In this position, begin slicing from top to bottom. This is technically a transverse cut, and it produces a more visually appealing and appropriately sized tomato slice. Many people slice in the sagittal plane, producing small slices whose liquid contents are lost more easily. Be sure to slice transversely.
When removing the core of the tomato, some literally core the tomato by stabbing it at the sepal, driving the knife into its heart. Doing this method removes the coarse core, but it leaves a gaping chasm at its center. Instead, I prefer a "topping" of the top section of the tomato, perhaps topping off 1/4" of the tomato's superior aspect. It is not wasted, as I will gnaw around it later.
Professor Dawghair also recommends cutting into the fattest part of the tomato, the center cut. I do not follow this technique, and instead, begin at its smallest diameter. We do agree in his statement, “The center of the tomato yields slices with the highest possible ratio of pulp to flesh.” And for this reason, my guests will always receive tomato sandwiches that have center cut slices of tomatoes.
As for the size of that center cut slice, PD suggests that the perfect thickness is ½” to ¾”. If he could taste my tomato sandwich, I believe he would come around to seeing that the perfect slice is twice as thick as his recommendation: 1” to 1.5” in thickness. Perhaps he is dealing with smaller sized tomatoes. If your tomato is but a pound heavy, perhaps that tomato will only yield one good and consistent ½” slice.
Bread is simple. You may be tempted to get a gourmet bread or perhaps even bake your own. For some reason, though, the cheap white sandwich bread makes the best tomato sandwiches. I prefer Bunny to Wonder, but either will do. Our friend, the Professor, not the And1 one, also prefers factory produced bread because this bread has copious mayonnaise receptor pockets (MRPs). I, on the other hand, do not care if there are any MRPs on my bread.
Gourmet sandwich bread, the larger slice below, costs around $7 per loaf. It looks better and supports a local baker. It also caresses a large tomato slice better than factory made loaf. But few people have access to tomatoes over two pounds. So, on the whole, the cheap store breads are better for our purpose today.
Many will tell you that mayonnaise is an essential component of the summer tomato sandwich. It is not. I believe that mayonnaise distorts and obfuscates the naturally fresh flavor of a good tomato. I will never pollute my tomatoes or Grandfather’s tomatoes with mayonnaise. Some, however, insist on it, and the favorite brands are Blue Plate and Duke’s. I have before put Cane’s sauce on my sandwich, put like mayonnaise, it subtracts from the experience.
Below is a ½” thick tomato with Cane’s sauce tomato sandwich. There are three things wrong with this sandwich. First, the tomato is not thick enough. Second, there is a distracting sauce on the bread. Third, the bread is not toasted. Yes, a good tomato sandwich, Grandfather taught, should use bread that is toasted.
Note how the Georgia style tomato sandwich differs from a TulaneLSU New Orleans tomato sandwich in the picture below. I am not afraid to admit I use a layer of Hormel precooked bacon, which I crisp in the microwave for 39 seconds (4 slices per sandwich). I find that the bacon precludes the need for salt or pepper. Take note of the meatiness of that tomato slice. It is better than the best piece of tuna you have ever tasted.
In recent years, Mother and I have invented tomato sliders. This invention was done out of necessity to bring black krim tomatoes into the family of tomatoes used for sandwiches. Krims were first cultivated in that wartorn area we call Crimea. Their meat is usually profoundly red, nearing violaceous and their flavor matches that chromatic drama. Peel these beauties with a serrated knife, making sure also to cut your bread before assembly. Tomato sliders make great July 4 amuse gueule or snacks throughout the entire summer.
There are potentially thousands upon thousands of variations of the tomato sandwich. One of my favorites is the caprese tomato sandwich, with fresh moozt and Mother's famous basil from her garden. But my favorite is the simple plain tomato with a little bacon on bread. It is a treat of childhood that gets better as I get closer to my end.
What a beautiful creature the tomato is. We do not often think of our plants as creatures, but here in all its wondrous symmetry, even if we fail in our limited minds to see it. Tomatoes are one of nature’s great examples of fractals. Take note of this tomato’s marvelous vascular bundles.
After slicing a tomato, do not in haste move to sandwich construction. Instead, ponder on its beauty. Look deep into the tomato’s heart and search for God. There is a path in its anatomy, in this labyrinth of love. Pause and ponder, for God has made a path to the place prepared for you.
Faith, Hope, and Love,
TulaneLSU
When removing the core of the tomato, some literally core the tomato by stabbing it at the sepal, driving the knife into its heart. Doing this method removes the coarse core, but it leaves a gaping chasm at its center. Instead, I prefer a "topping" of the top section of the tomato, perhaps topping off 1/4" of the tomato's superior aspect. It is not wasted, as I will gnaw around it later.
Professor Dawghair also recommends cutting into the fattest part of the tomato, the center cut. I do not follow this technique, and instead, begin at its smallest diameter. We do agree in his statement, “The center of the tomato yields slices with the highest possible ratio of pulp to flesh.” And for this reason, my guests will always receive tomato sandwiches that have center cut slices of tomatoes.
As for the size of that center cut slice, PD suggests that the perfect thickness is ½” to ¾”. If he could taste my tomato sandwich, I believe he would come around to seeing that the perfect slice is twice as thick as his recommendation: 1” to 1.5” in thickness. Perhaps he is dealing with smaller sized tomatoes. If your tomato is but a pound heavy, perhaps that tomato will only yield one good and consistent ½” slice.
Bread is simple. You may be tempted to get a gourmet bread or perhaps even bake your own. For some reason, though, the cheap white sandwich bread makes the best tomato sandwiches. I prefer Bunny to Wonder, but either will do. Our friend, the Professor, not the And1 one, also prefers factory produced bread because this bread has copious mayonnaise receptor pockets (MRPs). I, on the other hand, do not care if there are any MRPs on my bread.
Gourmet sandwich bread, the larger slice below, costs around $7 per loaf. It looks better and supports a local baker. It also caresses a large tomato slice better than factory made loaf. But few people have access to tomatoes over two pounds. So, on the whole, the cheap store breads are better for our purpose today.
Many will tell you that mayonnaise is an essential component of the summer tomato sandwich. It is not. I believe that mayonnaise distorts and obfuscates the naturally fresh flavor of a good tomato. I will never pollute my tomatoes or Grandfather’s tomatoes with mayonnaise. Some, however, insist on it, and the favorite brands are Blue Plate and Duke’s. I have before put Cane’s sauce on my sandwich, put like mayonnaise, it subtracts from the experience.
Below is a ½” thick tomato with Cane’s sauce tomato sandwich. There are three things wrong with this sandwich. First, the tomato is not thick enough. Second, there is a distracting sauce on the bread. Third, the bread is not toasted. Yes, a good tomato sandwich, Grandfather taught, should use bread that is toasted.
Note how the Georgia style tomato sandwich differs from a TulaneLSU New Orleans tomato sandwich in the picture below. I am not afraid to admit I use a layer of Hormel precooked bacon, which I crisp in the microwave for 39 seconds (4 slices per sandwich). I find that the bacon precludes the need for salt or pepper. Take note of the meatiness of that tomato slice. It is better than the best piece of tuna you have ever tasted.
In recent years, Mother and I have invented tomato sliders. This invention was done out of necessity to bring black krim tomatoes into the family of tomatoes used for sandwiches. Krims were first cultivated in that wartorn area we call Crimea. Their meat is usually profoundly red, nearing violaceous and their flavor matches that chromatic drama. Peel these beauties with a serrated knife, making sure also to cut your bread before assembly. Tomato sliders make great July 4 amuse gueule or snacks throughout the entire summer.
There are potentially thousands upon thousands of variations of the tomato sandwich. One of my favorites is the caprese tomato sandwich, with fresh moozt and Mother's famous basil from her garden. But my favorite is the simple plain tomato with a little bacon on bread. It is a treat of childhood that gets better as I get closer to my end.
What a beautiful creature the tomato is. We do not often think of our plants as creatures, but here in all its wondrous symmetry, even if we fail in our limited minds to see it. Tomatoes are one of nature’s great examples of fractals. Take note of this tomato’s marvelous vascular bundles.
After slicing a tomato, do not in haste move to sandwich construction. Instead, ponder on its beauty. Look deep into the tomato’s heart and search for God. There is a path in its anatomy, in this labyrinth of love. Pause and ponder, for God has made a path to the place prepared for you.
Faith, Hope, and Love,
TulaneLSU
This post was edited on 7/2/23 at 3:47 pm
Posted on 7/2/23 at 3:19 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
a
Not your most prolific post. 
Posted on 7/2/23 at 3:43 pm to TulaneLSU
Mother loves it thick!
Posted on 7/2/23 at 3:57 pm to TulaneLSU
Friend,
My heart always thrills when a new TulaneLSU post is in evidence upon my arrival to Tigerdroppings, especially on the Food and Drink board, as your epicurean pursuits dovetail so neatly with my own interests. I am bemused, however, by a jarring diversion in our beliefs which has been brought to light in this latest missive. I had to re-read your puzzling statement twice to ensure I was properly comprehending your contention.
Toast on a tomato sandwich is untenable and cannot be condoned. The plush texture of white bread, often justly considered inferior, is paramount in the construction of this summertime delight. The manner in which the bread nearly dissolves when macerated in the juices of the succulent fruit is part and parcel of the experience. Toasting interferes with this textural delectation. I lament that our tastes have diverged on such an issue. I will hope this is a singular episode.
Best,
Sugarbaker
My heart always thrills when a new TulaneLSU post is in evidence upon my arrival to Tigerdroppings, especially on the Food and Drink board, as your epicurean pursuits dovetail so neatly with my own interests. I am bemused, however, by a jarring diversion in our beliefs which has been brought to light in this latest missive. I had to re-read your puzzling statement twice to ensure I was properly comprehending your contention.
Toast on a tomato sandwich is untenable and cannot be condoned. The plush texture of white bread, often justly considered inferior, is paramount in the construction of this summertime delight. The manner in which the bread nearly dissolves when macerated in the juices of the succulent fruit is part and parcel of the experience. Toasting interferes with this textural delectation. I lament that our tastes have diverged on such an issue. I will hope this is a singular episode.
Best,
Sugarbaker
Posted on 7/2/23 at 3:57 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
The summer tomato is proof that God is a creator and is good.
Posted on 7/2/23 at 4:04 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
Many will tell you that mayonnaise is an essential component of the summer tomato sandwich. It is not. I believe that mayonnaise distorts and obfuscates the naturally fresh flavor of a good tomato. I will never pollute my tomatoes or Grandfather’s tomatoes with mayonnaise. Some, however, insist on it, and the favorite brands are Blue Plate and Duke’s. I have before put Cane’s sauce on my sandwich, put like mayonnaise, it subtracts from the experience.
Tyfys
Posted on 7/2/23 at 4:05 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
placenta
Posted on 7/2/23 at 4:27 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
After slicing a tomato, do not in haste move to sandwich construction. Instead, ponder on its beauty. Look deep into the tomato’s heart and search for God. There is a path in its anatomy, in this labyrinth of love. Pause and ponder, for God has made a path to the place prepared for you.
Posted on 7/2/23 at 4:28 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
Cane’s sauce on my sandwich, put like mayonnaise
Friend,
I cannot read any further. This excessive misspelling cannot be tolerated.
Frustrated,
Whatiknowsofar
Posted on 7/2/23 at 4:52 pm to TulaneLSU
Be sure to save the juice coming from the peeling. Can add the juice to a plain bologna sandwich to take it over the top. Just be careful not to over do and get soggy bread.
(Bologna sliced cheese and tomato with the juice on white with mayo + S/P is really good)
(Bologna sliced cheese and tomato with the juice on white with mayo + S/P is really good)
Posted on 7/2/23 at 5:24 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
TulaneLSU
Baw… you have WAY too much time on your hands
Posted on 7/2/23 at 5:43 pm to TulaneLSU
Friend,
I appreciate the feedback and even the gentle criticism of the language I used early in the book.
I struggled over whether I should describe the exchange exactly as it happened or use literary license to make it less shocking for sensitive readers.
I actually have a censored version so that I could share it with Granny. I shouldn't have bothered. She loved tomato sandwiches as much as I do, but I lost her with the David Lee Roth reference.
Your post reminds me that I have mellowed over the past 8 years. Some of the things that you do with tomato sandwiches would have been heretical to me back then. I am much less dogmatic now.
As long as the tomato is right, good things follow. I would definitely try a caprese tomato sandwich. I have some fresh mozzarella ready, but no tomato. I would think toasted bread is a must for that.
My dad grew the best tomatoes, and my brother has probably surpassed him. I want to grow them myself. I finally live where I have the sun, but I lack the time.
One day.
Best wishes
I appreciate the feedback and even the gentle criticism of the language I used early in the book.
I struggled over whether I should describe the exchange exactly as it happened or use literary license to make it less shocking for sensitive readers.
I actually have a censored version so that I could share it with Granny. I shouldn't have bothered. She loved tomato sandwiches as much as I do, but I lost her with the David Lee Roth reference.
Your post reminds me that I have mellowed over the past 8 years. Some of the things that you do with tomato sandwiches would have been heretical to me back then. I am much less dogmatic now.
As long as the tomato is right, good things follow. I would definitely try a caprese tomato sandwich. I have some fresh mozzarella ready, but no tomato. I would think toasted bread is a must for that.
My dad grew the best tomatoes, and my brother has probably surpassed him. I want to grow them myself. I finally live where I have the sun, but I lack the time.
One day.
Best wishes
Posted on 7/2/23 at 6:03 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
Hormel precooked bacon
the horror
This post was edited on 7/2/23 at 6:04 pm
Posted on 7/2/23 at 8:49 pm to Professor Dawghair
Friend,
What a high honor to have the world authority on tomato sandwiches reply to one of my letters. If Mother allows it, I would be pleased to bring you a basket of these tomatoes. Plentiful is an understatement -- I have eaten 18 pounds of tomatoes today, including 12 tomato sandwiches, one representing each of the disciples. A twenty mile walk through the grounds and then beyond the grounds required much rehydration, for which the tomato and its ample supply of juice were called to duty. And yet, hardly a dent exists in the bounty. One day, yes, one day we could barter my family's tomatoes for your brother's. And who is David Lee Roth?
Sugarbaker, such gratitude fills my heart when you write in such kind colors. Grateful too am I that God's kingdom is expanse enough to allow for differing opinions on how we use God's gifts to us. The soft white Bunny bread has never found a happy home in my mouth. To me, it is too sticky and mushy.
Sidicious, I have never tried a bologna sandwich. With your recommendation, it is now on the list.
Tonight, I worked on several new dishes. My favorite creation I call "Christmas in July." The base of the dish is a sliced black krim, 1" thick. Atop is green tobiko and a few salmon eggs. Each Christmas tree stack received seven drops of Great Value soy sauce. This is a real surf and turf dish with great texture, saltiness, and acidity.
My cousin also asked if I could make a special tomato sandwich for her tonight. She likes mayo, so I chopped some garden fresh basil and mixed it with the mayo before putting the final piece together. She said it was the best tomato sandwich she had ever had. Flattery will get her everywhere.
We shall see what tomorrow holds, friends. But I shall not worry for it, and I will seek first the kingdom of God, for God shall take care of all of our needs.
Yours,
TulaneLSU
What a high honor to have the world authority on tomato sandwiches reply to one of my letters. If Mother allows it, I would be pleased to bring you a basket of these tomatoes. Plentiful is an understatement -- I have eaten 18 pounds of tomatoes today, including 12 tomato sandwiches, one representing each of the disciples. A twenty mile walk through the grounds and then beyond the grounds required much rehydration, for which the tomato and its ample supply of juice were called to duty. And yet, hardly a dent exists in the bounty. One day, yes, one day we could barter my family's tomatoes for your brother's. And who is David Lee Roth?
Sugarbaker, such gratitude fills my heart when you write in such kind colors. Grateful too am I that God's kingdom is expanse enough to allow for differing opinions on how we use God's gifts to us. The soft white Bunny bread has never found a happy home in my mouth. To me, it is too sticky and mushy.
Sidicious, I have never tried a bologna sandwich. With your recommendation, it is now on the list.
Tonight, I worked on several new dishes. My favorite creation I call "Christmas in July." The base of the dish is a sliced black krim, 1" thick. Atop is green tobiko and a few salmon eggs. Each Christmas tree stack received seven drops of Great Value soy sauce. This is a real surf and turf dish with great texture, saltiness, and acidity.
My cousin also asked if I could make a special tomato sandwich for her tonight. She likes mayo, so I chopped some garden fresh basil and mixed it with the mayo before putting the final piece together. She said it was the best tomato sandwich she had ever had. Flattery will get her everywhere.
We shall see what tomorrow holds, friends. But I shall not worry for it, and I will seek first the kingdom of God, for God shall take care of all of our needs.
Yours,
TulaneLSU
Posted on 7/2/23 at 10:34 pm to TulaneLSU
Do you have a job?
Posted on 7/3/23 at 12:45 am to DomincDecoco
Get some therapy dude.
Posted on 7/3/23 at 6:30 am to TulaneLSU
Not that I read all that shite, but while skimming thru it became obvious that really don't know much about tomatoes or tomato sandwiches.
Posted on 7/3/23 at 10:07 am to LSUballs
The very first picture is a refrigerated tomato so I stopped there.
Posted on 7/3/23 at 10:33 am to TulaneLSU
I suddenly feel better about some of my quirks.
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