Introducing the Cube Rule

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Enter the Cube Rule, a simple way to categorize What Foods Are and What Foods Aren’t. According to the Cube Rule, there are eight categories of food, each defined by the placement of starch. Use a cube as your guideline for where the bread or starch goes, and it will determine what a food truly is — and whether it is a sandwich. Starch only on the bottom? It’s a toast. Starch on the top and bottom that is not connected is, obviously, a sandwich. But starch on the bottom and two opposing sides is a taco. Therefore, a hot dog is a taco. And, to correct RBG, a sub is also a taco. Rolled starch on the top, bottom and two opposing sides is, according to the Cube Rule, maki roll sushi. Therefore, an enchilada is sushi. Starch on every side except the top, like a quiche, is a bread bowl. Any food fully enclosed in starch is a calzone. A corn dog is a calzone. A Pop-Tart is a calzone. A bean pupusa is a calzone.

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Poptart is a calzone?

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This is my new favorite quote

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