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Malort is the foulest substance my body has consumed in years
Posted on 11/15/19 at 11:37 pm
Posted on 11/15/19 at 11:37 pm
Someone bought us shots “for traditions sake.” It’ fricking awful. No redeeming value. It tasted like chemicals. The initial taste was bad but the inescapable aftertaste was far worse. Our group remained frozen for at least 10 minutes. Water was useless. Champagne deadened the taste a little bit but was largely ineffective.
14
Posted on 11/15/19 at 11:42 pm to athenslife101
I agree. I had it in Chicago with a guy that was from there. It is some sort of a pride thing for the people who pretend to like it. It is the worst thing I've ever tasted and it isnt even close. There really isnt a way to describe it. If I had to try, I would say bile mixed with battery acid. Awful stuff.
Posted on 11/16/19 at 12:48 am to tigersfirst
quote:
There really isnt a way to describe it.
Licorice flavored gasoline.
Chase it with an Old Style for a “Chicago Handshake”
Posted on 11/16/19 at 1:42 am to RedFoxx
How did I survive Chi-town without trying this stuff?
Is it as bad as Grappa?
Is it as bad as Grappa?
Posted on 11/16/19 at 3:24 am to athenslife101
Never heard of it until now
It's described online as liquid mothballs
Hard pass
It's described online as liquid mothballs
Hard pass
Posted on 11/16/19 at 5:25 am to Degas
quote:
How did I survive Chi-town without trying this stuff?
Is it as bad as Grappa
Grappa is nectar of the gods compared to Malort and I don't like grappa
Posted on 11/16/19 at 7:31 am to hobotiger
Then Malort must be ratchet. I had Grappa in Rome and I almost didn't make it back to the USA....
This post was edited on 11/16/19 at 7:32 am
Posted on 11/16/19 at 7:41 am to athenslife101
quote:
Malort is the foulest substance my body has consumed in years by athenslife101
I have frequent business travel to Pecs, Hungary. There's only one restaurant in the city center that takes my corporate Amex, so that's where I eat every night. Nice little Italian joint, great pastas and wood fired authentic pizzas.
Anyway, I'm a known entity there now. When they see me walk in, they all know me and I essentially have my favorite table blocked off for the week. I'm like a celebrity, for some reason.
Anyway, long story short, I cannot leave that place without then shoving 2 or 3 glasses of grappa down my throat on the house. I'm convinced they have boxes of it just rotting in the basement they are trying to get rid of. I drink it because they are being overly nice, but holy frick is this shite rancid tasting.
Posted on 11/16/19 at 7:47 am to athenslife101
I concur. It’s bad.
Posted on 11/16/19 at 8:06 am to TigerFanatic99
I don’t particularly like grappa, but I don’t find it foul. Put it in your head that what you’re doing is closer to sipping vodka in Moscow than brandy in Paris and your brain might find it less jarring 
Posted on 11/16/19 at 8:10 am to athenslife101
Eater recently had an article on “Where to find Malort in New Orleans”. Apparently it’s gaining some popularity.
They described it as being fairly wretched. I believe I will pass.
They described it as being fairly wretched. I believe I will pass.
Posted on 11/16/19 at 8:19 am to RedFoxx
quote:
Chase it with an Old Style for a “Chicago Handshake”
We were in the Billy Goat Tavern this summer and witnessed a guy buy a round of those Handshakes for his group.
Posted on 11/16/19 at 9:02 am to athenslife101
Someone gave me a bottle, guess it will stay closed.
Posted on 11/16/19 at 11:27 am to athenslife101
When I was a bartender, my boss would make us drink it as a punishment. You showed up an hour late? You get to start your shift with a full bucket glass of Malort.
This post was edited on 11/16/19 at 11:27 am
Posted on 11/16/19 at 11:27 am to fastedLSU
quote:
Someone gave me a bottle, guess it will stay closed.
use it to kill red ants but don’t drink it
it is every bit of foul as described above
Posted on 11/17/19 at 4:45 pm to tigersfirst
quote:
agree. I had it in Chicago with a guy that was from there. It is some sort of a pride thing for the people who pretend to like it.
Bingo. I always tell people you're not a true chicagoan until you've done your first shot of Malort. Had a group at the bar do their first one for a badger game a while back and reaction was great. A buddies GF actually prefers it when we're doing shots.
It gets easier after the first time.
Posted on 11/17/19 at 5:22 pm to Chucktown_Badger
it actually goes down easy, but damn that after taste is brutal... we always make people do it when they come visit...
Posted on 11/17/19 at 6:16 pm to athenslife101
I had to look it up. I'm not really compelled to go out of my way to try it.
Posted on 11/17/19 at 8:21 pm to athenslife101
it's vile on every level
Used to go into the Midwest for work a couple times a year. Some of the locals played that "let me buy you a shot" crap on me. My buddy from Chicago who was with me was smirking, I didnt understand why he was slow playing it.
Fool me once
yeah, they all toss it out as a "right of passage" but to a man, they all hate it, they just think it's hilarious
Used to go into the Midwest for work a couple times a year. Some of the locals played that "let me buy you a shot" crap on me. My buddy from Chicago who was with me was smirking, I didnt understand why he was slow playing it.
Fool me once
yeah, they all toss it out as a "right of passage" but to a man, they all hate it, they just think it's hilarious
Posted on 11/17/19 at 8:35 pm to TigerFanatic99
quote:
2 or 3 glasses of grappa
It's an alcoholic beverage made from the leftovers of the grapes used to make actual wine, isn't it?
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