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Started By
Message
re: A look back at great quotes from Futurama
Posted on 1/31/18 at 3:02 pm to Freauxzen
Posted on 1/31/18 at 3:02 pm to Freauxzen
Prof: Wernstrom!!!!!
Prof: Last year you say? Did it put you young whipper snappers in your place?
Nixon: hhaaaarrrrrrooooooo!!!
The telescope monks: Let us out! We microwaved and ate our shoes. Now we're bored.
Truck stop guy: whoahooooahooooahooahzzzz
Prof: Last year you say? Did it put you young whipper snappers in your place?
Nixon: hhaaaarrrrrrooooooo!!!
The telescope monks: Let us out! We microwaved and ate our shoes. Now we're bored.
Truck stop guy: whoahooooahooooahooahzzzz
This post was edited on 1/31/18 at 3:49 pm
2
Posted on 1/31/18 at 3:33 pm to Breesus
The episode where bender wants to be a chef:
Farnsworth: my god the secret ingredient is water
Group: wow!
Hubert J. Farnsworth: Yes, ordinary water, laced with nothing more than a few spoonfuls of LSD
Farnsworth: my god the secret ingredient is water
Group: wow!
Hubert J. Farnsworth: Yes, ordinary water, laced with nothing more than a few spoonfuls of LSD
Posted on 1/31/18 at 3:34 pm to Breesus
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: You mustn't interfere with the past. Don't do anything that affects anything. Unless it turns out that you were supposed to do it; in which case, for the love of God, don't not do it!
Fry: Got it.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: If, for example, you were to kill your grandfather, you would cease to exist.
Fry: [gasp] But existing is basically all I do!
Fry: AAAH! It's impossible! I mean, if she's my grandmother, then who's my grandfather?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Isn't is obvious?
Fry: *shakes head*
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: YOU ARE!
Fry: Aaaah! Aaaaaah! AAAAAAAAAAH!
Professor Farnsworth: Start the ship, Leela! Let's just steal the dish and get back to our own time.
Fry: But won't that change history?
Professor Farnsworth: Oooh, a lesson in not changing history from "Mr. I'm-my-own-grandpa". Let's get the hell out of here already! Screw history!
Fry: Got it.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: If, for example, you were to kill your grandfather, you would cease to exist.
Fry: [gasp] But existing is basically all I do!
Fry: AAAH! It's impossible! I mean, if she's my grandmother, then who's my grandfather?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Isn't is obvious?
Fry: *shakes head*
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: YOU ARE!
Fry: Aaaah! Aaaaaah! AAAAAAAAAAH!
Professor Farnsworth: Start the ship, Leela! Let's just steal the dish and get back to our own time.
Fry: But won't that change history?
Professor Farnsworth: Oooh, a lesson in not changing history from "Mr. I'm-my-own-grandpa". Let's get the hell out of here already! Screw history!
This post was edited on 1/31/18 at 3:36 pm
Posted on 1/31/18 at 3:40 pm to gaetti15
the short, yet in-depth and scientific jokes are always the funniest, such as:
Professor: "No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!"
Professor: "No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!"
Posted on 1/31/18 at 3:49 pm to gaetti15
Farnsworth: Astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
Fry: Hmm...what’s it called now?
Farnsworth: Urrectum. Here let me locate it for you.
When Guenter the monkey runs off:
Farnsworth: I always feared he might run off like this. Why...WHY...WHY DIDN’T I BREAK HIS LEGS?!
Fry: Hmm...what’s it called now?
Farnsworth: Urrectum. Here let me locate it for you.
When Guenter the monkey runs off:
Farnsworth: I always feared he might run off like this. Why...WHY...WHY DIDN’T I BREAK HIS LEGS?!
This post was edited on 1/31/18 at 3:55 pm
Posted on 1/31/18 at 3:52 pm to Scruffy
Leela: I can't believe you ratted me out, Fry.
Fry: I'm not a rat, I swear! If I'm any rodent it's the loyal Capybara, king of the rats. No, wait—
Zapp Brannigan: How many men did we lose, Kif?
Kif Kroker: All of them, sir.
Zapp: Well, at least they won't have to mourn each other.
No. 9 Guy: You must not let that happen.
Fry: [writing] "Must let happen."
No. 9 Guy: Not happen!
Fry: "Must let occur."
Zoidberg: I don’t quite know how to say this. Fry is dead!
[everyone cries]
Fry: [sitting up] Ow...
Zoidberg: Wait, not dead, the other thing.
Fry: I'm not a rat, I swear! If I'm any rodent it's the loyal Capybara, king of the rats. No, wait—
Zapp Brannigan: How many men did we lose, Kif?
Kif Kroker: All of them, sir.
Zapp: Well, at least they won't have to mourn each other.
No. 9 Guy: You must not let that happen.
Fry: [writing] "Must let happen."
No. 9 Guy: Not happen!
Fry: "Must let occur."
Zoidberg: I don’t quite know how to say this. Fry is dead!
[everyone cries]
Fry: [sitting up] Ow...
Zoidberg: Wait, not dead, the other thing.
Posted on 1/31/18 at 4:01 pm to Breesus
Kif I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
This post was edited on 1/31/18 at 4:07 pm
Posted on 1/31/18 at 4:03 pm to OMLandshark
Zapp: Kif, tell the boy to lay out my formal shorts.
Kif: The boy, sir?
Zapp: You. You lay out my formal shorts.
Kif: The boy, sir?
Zapp: You. You lay out my formal shorts.
Posted on 1/31/18 at 4:17 pm to Scruffy
That's an all time favorite I forgot about.
Spare me the weary sigh for once.
Spare me the weary sigh for once.
Posted on 1/31/18 at 6:02 pm to Scruffy
She's built like a steak house, but she handles like a Bistro
Posted on 1/31/18 at 6:24 pm to tigervet4
Kif: Captain, may I have a word with you?
Zapp: No.
Kif: It's an emergency, sir.
Zapp: Come back when it's a catastrophe.
Explosion
Zapp: Oh, very well.
Zapp: No.
Kif: It's an emergency, sir.
Zapp: Come back when it's a catastrophe.
Explosion
Zapp: Oh, very well.
Posted on 1/31/18 at 6:29 pm to tigervet4
Prof: and this is my universal translator, unfortunately so far it only translates into an incomprehensible dead language
Hubert: Hello
Translator: Bonjour!
Prof: Stupid gibberish!
Hubert: Hello
Translator: Bonjour!
Prof: Stupid gibberish!
Posted on 1/31/18 at 6:56 pm to weaveballs1
Another favorite of mine is Lrrr Ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8–
“I am Lrrr RULER OF THE PLANET OMICRON PERSEI 8! Can I crash on your couch?”
(Watching Friends) “ this is ancient earths most foolish program. Why doesn’t Ross the largest friend not simply eat the other five?”
Lrrr: “Give us McNeal!”
Zapp: That was McNeal.
Nd-Nd: “No, McNeal, the single female lawyer.”
Lrrr: “She wears miniskirts and is promiscuous.”
Zapp: “Really?”
“I am Lrrr RULER OF THE PLANET OMICRON PERSEI 8! Can I crash on your couch?”
(Watching Friends) “ this is ancient earths most foolish program. Why doesn’t Ross the largest friend not simply eat the other five?”
Lrrr: “Give us McNeal!”
Zapp: That was McNeal.
Nd-Nd: “No, McNeal, the single female lawyer.”
Lrrr: “She wears miniskirts and is promiscuous.”
Zapp: “Really?”
Posted on 1/31/18 at 8:34 pm to Scruffy
Bender's thoughts-- Whoa, that lady's got a huge arse.
Bender (to lady)-- Those could be anyone's thoughts, fat arse.
Posted on 1/31/18 at 9:09 pm to OMLandshark
quote:
Kif I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
Did he say "made it"? I always thought he said "mated".
Posted on 1/31/18 at 10:40 pm to AshLSU
Goldberg: Get ready for a sexy firehouse.
Prof: Zoidberg, quit turning us on and go polish your nozzle.
Fry: [about being sentenced to death by "Snu-snu"] I never thought I would die this way, but I've always really hoped.
Bender: I’m so embarrassed. I wish everybody else was dead.
Prof: Zoidberg, quit turning us on and go polish your nozzle.
Fry: [about being sentenced to death by "Snu-snu"] I never thought I would die this way, but I've always really hoped.
Bender: I’m so embarrassed. I wish everybody else was dead.
Posted on 2/1/18 at 2:27 am to ThoseGuys
2 from the same episode
Hedonism Bot: Let us cavort like the Greeks of old! You know the ones I mean.
Robot Devil: Hello, Fry. Muahahahaha! Just dropped by to make sure you're as happy with our little deal as I am... oh, give me back my hands! These things are always touching me in... places.
Fry: Heheheh, yeah, they get around.
Hedonism Bot: Let us cavort like the Greeks of old! You know the ones I mean.
Robot Devil: Hello, Fry. Muahahahaha! Just dropped by to make sure you're as happy with our little deal as I am... oh, give me back my hands! These things are always touching me in... places.
Fry: Heheheh, yeah, they get around.
This post was edited on 2/1/18 at 2:31 am
Posted on 2/1/18 at 9:21 pm to PowerTool
Posted on 2/1/18 at 11:11 pm to jefforize
Moon sapphires......with those I could open the gates of Garash!
Sure.....blame the wizards.
ETA: Sorry if any of these have already been mentioned
Young Farnsworth - "I've had a few beers, but I'm cool to drive"
Zap - "If it's a lesson in love, watch out; I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?"
Kif - "ugh, Sexlexia""
GOAT animated show.
Sure.....blame the wizards.
ETA: Sorry if any of these have already been mentioned
Young Farnsworth - "I've had a few beers, but I'm cool to drive"
Zap - "If it's a lesson in love, watch out; I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?"
Kif - "ugh, Sexlexia""
GOAT animated show.
This post was edited on 2/1/18 at 11:15 pm
Posted on 2/1/18 at 11:52 pm to McCaigBro69
Bender's parental advice.
Bender: "Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?"
Bender: "Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?"
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