re: How Complaining Rewires Your Brain

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I agree. I ended a 3 year relationship due to constant complaining and negativity. Every day was a personal tragedy for her. She’d recap every single workday and relate it all back to past events every single day. Repeating the same old stories every time. I couldn’t take donating 2 hours of my day every day to listening to tragic complaints about her co-workers lunch choice, or something else trivial.

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Oh yeah. And then if you refuse to participate in the HIGHLY IMPORTANT JOURNEY INTO SELF with them, they project all that negativity they carry around and attempt to make you responsible for it. They are emotional primitives who think they are emotional sophisticates. They want to make YOU responsible for THEIR emotional wellbeing and they will project all their emotional heaviness onto you and never ever have a single moment of clarity about why that is actually flat out emotional abuse.They will tell you about how their parents did this to them and how horrible it was while doing the same or worse to you. And they are NEVER truly aware of the emotional negative loop, let alone morally courageous enough to be accountable for it. You become their guinea pig- kind of a prop for them to work their shite out on. And when you call them out they accuse you of the same and run on to their next victim. Yeah frick that.

Back to this thread- that’s why a guy like SFP with no need for affirmative relationships can just shake it off while a guy like me who constantly seeks harmony within the tribe gets absolutely wrecked.

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If complaining rewires/ruins your brain, then half of this country is permanently brain damaged.

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yea that sounds about right and along with what they are saying.

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You have to be able to be a highly- conscientious person who can happily coexist with an anti social gutter punk and vice versa. I am jealous of people who have achieved that freedom of happiness outside of The Tribe. Being truly content around people who cannot be content. That would be a level of near sociopathic bliss I could enjoy. To truly NGAF with those closest to you. To be impervious to the moods of others.

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I believe most people have a view that people have more free will than they actually do. People are a product of their situations more than society likes to admit.

that anti-gutter social punk is probably that way because of how his life began and the interactions he went through during the 20+ years before that all piling onto each other. He didn't just wake up today and decide he wanted to be a gutter punk.

You should not hate him, but you should also not spend time around him because his negativity will influence you

I think we are WIRED to be a certain way and our environment can reinforce that. That’s just common sense. But as a highly conscientious person it’s been hard for me to have harmony when people in “ my immediate tribe “ are not conscientious. Coworkers , friends, family. I’m starting to realize that is asking too much. Better to make peace with those with completely different personality types than seek consensus. A separate peace, as it were. I can be happy while others are not and I won’t let their unhappiness affect my peace- that sort of thing.