- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
St. Tammany Sheriff's Office PIOs getting some creative writing classes apparently
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:21 pm
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:21 pm
They've decided to go with "snarky" on their press releases nowaday... just read the whole thing
STPSO Facebook
[Quote]Lake Pontchartrain ain't an escape route... KEITH!!!
Keith took a dip in Lake Pontchartrain and left with a free ride to jail and a fresh set of pink hospital scrubs. Choices were made. None of them good…. Here goes...
This morning, Keith Hebert of Arabi had a bright idea????...drive into St. Tammany, steal someone’s Yukon right out of their driveway on North Summerfield Loop near Slidell, and try to peace out before breakfast. Problem is… Keith forgot one thing: this is St. Tammany. And we don’t play that.
Thanks to a quick thinking resident who saw him take off in her 2018 Yukon and called us immediately, our 1st District Patrol deputies spotted the stolen ride near Oak Harbor and I-10. Using a built in vehicle safety feature (shoutout to technology??), we remotely shut that bad boy down on the Twin Spans.
That’s when Keith went full on Hollywood and jumped off the bridge into Lake Pontchartrain. (Because when in doubt… swan dive?)
Unfortunately for him, our Marine Division was already en route and scooped him up. After a pit stop at a local hospital to make sure he didn’t drown in his own bad decisions, he was released straight back into our custody…soaking wet, freshly humiliated, and headed for the St. Tammany Parish Correctional Center.
? He racked up a fun little list of charges to go along with his failed aquatic escape:
• Theft of a Motor Vehicle (over $25,000) – because that Yukon wasn’t a free souvenir
• Aggravated Flight from an Officer – sprinting and swimming won’t save you
• Aggravated Obstruction of a Highway – shutting down the Twin Spans for your antics
• Resisting an Officer – flopping into a lake counts
• No Driver’s License – because of course
Sheriff Randy Smith said it best:
“Do not come to St. Tammany thinking you are going to commit a crime and get away with it. You will be arrested.”
Wet and wildly unsuccessful. Maybe stick to dry land next time...Keith??.
#ShouldaBroughtFloaties
#ThisAintTheFastAndTheFurious
#StayInYourLaneKeith[/quote]
STPSO Facebook
[Quote]Lake Pontchartrain ain't an escape route... KEITH!!!
Keith took a dip in Lake Pontchartrain and left with a free ride to jail and a fresh set of pink hospital scrubs. Choices were made. None of them good…. Here goes...
This morning, Keith Hebert of Arabi had a bright idea????...drive into St. Tammany, steal someone’s Yukon right out of their driveway on North Summerfield Loop near Slidell, and try to peace out before breakfast. Problem is… Keith forgot one thing: this is St. Tammany. And we don’t play that.
Thanks to a quick thinking resident who saw him take off in her 2018 Yukon and called us immediately, our 1st District Patrol deputies spotted the stolen ride near Oak Harbor and I-10. Using a built in vehicle safety feature (shoutout to technology??), we remotely shut that bad boy down on the Twin Spans.
That’s when Keith went full on Hollywood and jumped off the bridge into Lake Pontchartrain. (Because when in doubt… swan dive?)
Unfortunately for him, our Marine Division was already en route and scooped him up. After a pit stop at a local hospital to make sure he didn’t drown in his own bad decisions, he was released straight back into our custody…soaking wet, freshly humiliated, and headed for the St. Tammany Parish Correctional Center.
? He racked up a fun little list of charges to go along with his failed aquatic escape:
• Theft of a Motor Vehicle (over $25,000) – because that Yukon wasn’t a free souvenir
• Aggravated Flight from an Officer – sprinting and swimming won’t save you
• Aggravated Obstruction of a Highway – shutting down the Twin Spans for your antics
• Resisting an Officer – flopping into a lake counts
• No Driver’s License – because of course
Sheriff Randy Smith said it best:
“Do not come to St. Tammany thinking you are going to commit a crime and get away with it. You will be arrested.”
Wet and wildly unsuccessful. Maybe stick to dry land next time...Keith??.
#ShouldaBroughtFloaties
#ThisAintTheFastAndTheFurious
#StayInYourLaneKeith[/quote]
This post was edited on 4/14/25 at 7:24 pm
13
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:22 pm to rt3
of all the shite to be outraged about with law enforcement, this isn't it
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:23 pm to rt3
Their releases have been like this for a while. They had one a few months ago about zipper merges that really got under the skin of the "goatee and selfie in my truck" crowd
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:24 pm to geauxtigers87
quote:
of all the shite to be outraged about with law enforcement, this isn't it
Who said anything about outrage?
I found it funny & thought the OT would too
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:28 pm to rt3
I like it
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:30 pm to rt3
Never trust a dude named Keith.
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:34 pm to rt3
quote:
They've decided to go with "snarky" on their press releases nowaday... just read the whole thing
I chuckled, a lot!
quote:
That’s when Keith went full on Hollywood and jumped off the bridge into Lake Pontchartrain. (Because when in doubt… swan dive?)
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:36 pm to rt3
quote:
STPSO Facebook
Well, it does read like a Facebook post, so I guess that makes sense.
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:40 pm to rt3
Keith deserves the snark for being such a dumbass to begin with.
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:40 pm to rt3
Good. Keep that trash on that side of the lake.
Florida does this shite all the time and makes fun of criminals and puts them on blast. I love it
Florida does this shite all the time and makes fun of criminals and puts them on blast. I love it
This post was edited on 4/14/25 at 7:44 pm
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:41 pm to rt3
This is all AI. No one writes anything anymore.
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:46 pm to rt3
It’s unprofessional and at some point they are going to say something stupid that is going to compromise a prosecution.
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:50 pm to DevilDagNS
quote:
It’s unprofessional
Get over it.
They’ve been writing these funny stories about your stupid criminal friends for a while now.
And no it’s not AI.
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:50 pm to rt3
He got dem East-uh Bunnay colors, just in time for pics!
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:51 pm to rt3
Sheriff Randy could use some work.
Posted on 4/14/25 at 7:57 pm to rt3
That FB page has a ton of followers because it's hilarious. I love their "Who Dat Wednesdays" where they show someone local caught in a criminal act on camera, set to music with funny captions, and invite people to "slide into their DMs" to snitch.
Posted on 4/14/25 at 8:11 pm to EthicalHedonist
It’s basically saying screw you lester earl
Page 1 of 1
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News