re: Yearly Thanksgiving Play By Play Gamethread

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All of this dog talk is ruining the thread. We only care about trashy families. Unless they bite someone and it causes a scene then there’s probably no place for it in this thread

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My youngest daughter has been living and working in Los Angeles for about 18 months and doesn’t get to come home that often so my wife and I decided to go see her. She made lots of plans and built an itinerary of sorts which included her boyfriend and a day in Malibu. On this particular excursion the boyfriend picks us up and we drive out to Malibu to have brunch at this restaurant overlooking the ocean. It’s a pretentious place with a pretentious name: Geoffrey’s, (pronounced joff-rees). To be fair, the view overlooking the ocean side cliff was spectacular and they seated us under a covered patio with a great view of the Pacific coast. After 10 minutes or so two ladies were seated directly behind me and a third lady joined them shortly thereafter with her Yorkshire Terrier in tow, on a leash. They all hugged with their big hats and did the double cheek kiss then proceeded to tie the leash around a vacant chair leg and order some kale salads for starters and some entree’s for later.

The daughter’s boyfriend considers himself quite the foodie so my wife and I are pretending to enjoy our pickled ginger avocado and scallops while telling them how great this place is, (can’t hurt their feelings). By this time the Yorkie has gone under the table and is hidden under the long table cloth and quietly behaving himself. We are well into meal when I catch a flash of movement to my left and behind me, then hear a man scream like a six year old girl as a whole platter full of eggs Benedict, tuna tartar and cauliflower risotto crashes to the floor. Apparently the Yorkie was biding his time and hiding beneath the table and decided to attack Carlos, the undocumented waiter by launching himself and biting down on the meaty portion of Carlos’s groin area. Bedlam ensues! Carlos is shrieking, the 3 ladies are shrieking, the dog is going nuts and my wife and I are watching, and laughing while the daughter and boyfriend are silently stunned. The whole wait staff comes over and starts picking up broken plates, glasses, mopping, removing food etc while the host gathers up Carlos and takes him to a nearby bench where Carlos is now in a prolonged wail and speaking Spanish at a rapid fire rate, while clutching his groin with one hand and grasping his forehead with the other. Meanwhile the lady with mini Cujo is crying and has to be consoled by her two Malibu Barbie moms. Cujos mom cannot believe he would do that, he is such a good boy and has never bitten anyone, much less the undocumented wait staff at Joff-Ree’s. The host comes over to our table and apologizes and offers free desert for the commotion as well as the water that got on my shoe. I ask about Carlos health and the host proceeds to tell me “Carlos is going to be fine”. The boyfriend leans over and says “Mexicans can be a little dramatic”, to which I chortle again. Meanwhile Cujo’s mom picks up the dog and splits before the OJ attorney dream team finds her and sues her and Cujo into oblivion. The two Malibutions have to cover Cujos mothers check and they scramble away as they don’t want their good names sullied with this oppressive incident.

Some young punk better not wear a Che Guevara shirt to my family dinner

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Have anything to do with this

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got my son with me today. If I didn’t, I would definitely already be liquored up by now

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Alcohol is not an issue. Honestly I don’t even drink that much unless it is a special occasion.

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say it again... No dog owner can ever comprehend that other's don't love their dog as much as they do. While we're at it if you dog is jumping on my lap or sniffing me maybe you can come fricking get it and bring it somewhere instead of just chuckling and commenting that he must like me or I can just tell it to get down

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So I’m going to get a bit off topic, because this is last Christmas/Easter, but boy is it relevant. Sorry for the long post.

Last Christmas my wife and I hosted my mother, brother, my moms long term boyfriend, and… their dogs. Boyfriend is now retired and shows these dogs… religiously. It’s a full blown obsession. The dog can do no wrong and my mom’s boyfriend is unable to communicate with other humans when the dog is around. I tolerated it until…

The dog is a 60# standard schnauzer. It bows up to my 9 year old son who has a minor physical disability. It did it more than once and I stepped in between them and asked him to get control. Apparently that’s threatening and unacceptable behavior.

Later that night … The dog has been groomed to take his sexual urges out on his ‘blackie’. It’s a stuffed animal. My mom’s boyfriend will sit on the couch while this happens and act as a back stop for the dogs… thrusting. Well, instead of using the stuffed animal, he used my 12# mini schnauzer and jizzed all over my dog, couch, and floor. No apologies… just cackling and ‘boys will be boys’. They leave the next morning.

Fast forward to Easter. We go to them. They bought a second show dog. Yippie. It’s a pup and pups will be pups. However, Easter Sunday the pup hops up on my lap and begins pawing my 9 month old in the face. Nothing malicious but the dog wouldn’t stop when asked so I pushed her off my baby and onto the floor, a good 24” in the vertical. In my mind a very common sense response.

Boy was I wrong. My moms boyfriend came UNGLUED. His screaming woke up my wife and the other two kids. My mom had to tell him to take a walk. So we pack up our stuff to leave.

On the way out I told them they were always welcome at my home, but the dogs aren’t. Not because of the dogs behavior, but because of his. He then proceeds to pop off again to the tune of “my dogs are smarter than your baby because they’ll be potty trained before her” and “my dogs matter more to me than your kids”. At that point I figured out he didn’t understand the difference between kids and dogs.

He’s refused to visit for birthdays or other holidays since then because he can’t leave the dogs. It’s embarrassing.

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Wife just texted me that BIL, who recently started spending the work week there after taking a job nearby, told his wife of 12 years over the phone they should “break up”. No other context, active group text yesterday with all of us about who would cook what. My wife is pissed, and says we’re staying home since he presumably lives there now and she can’t face him. So I got that going for me.


This has potential

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Update: probably not going to be fireworks, just somewhat awkward. Wife talked to everyone involved, apparently they’ve been having problems for a year, one of them being he wants kids and she doesn’t. We had a baby a month ago and BIL being around him has pushed the issue, to the point he gave her an ultimatum this past weekend (in person). To my wife’s credit, after the initial reaction she hasn’t entertained the notion that we or our baby ended a marriage, and was like frick it we’re going and they can tell the old folks why we won’t be having SIL’s cheesecake.

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She is not applying that I’ve been a shite bag or anything, it’s just feels like when things doesn’t get done she thinks the responsibility falls on her. Like fixing things around the house for example.

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OK, you lost me there. Any man who lets his wife fix things around the house instead of doing it himself the way God intended is a limp wristed pussy. Have some self respect man. Being a man is more than making some money and playing with your son. You are the provider, the protector, the solver of problems, the fixer of broken stuff, the maker, the builder.

Hell, when shite breaks at my house I actually look forward to fixing it. I get to use tools and solve a problem, and the wife is grateful and turned on by it. I changed the brake pads and rotors on her car last month and as soon as I got cleaned up she jumped my bones as thanks. Win win.

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Unfortunately it’s over. We took some time apart for a few weeks before she finally told me she wants a divorce. I tried everything during that time to show that I’m trying and working in it. I got some of the things done and was starting to work on fixing some of the other things. We had this issue last year and things was getting better or at least I thought it was. I got complacent at some point and it looks like it has cost me.

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Might be a blessing in disguise. She sounds miserable to be around.

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She sounds miserable to be around.

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She is really not. I understand where she is coming from and I know I got some things to fix with myself. I mean, the things she wants done doesn’t go completely undone. It’s just she has a timeline in her mind and feels like if it is not done during that time, she feels the responsibility falls on her.

Anyone have flat tire patch on the roadside on your bingo card?