Novel idea…..

A story where a talented team down on its luck rallies and makes a run to the finals

Oh wait you meant a novel idea, not an idea for a novel

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Novel idea…..

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(1) In between really straight-forward but fascinating descriptions of the whaling industry, a wayward, lonely sailor teams up with a Polynesian dude, and they embark on a voyage helmed by a maniac sea captain hellbent on showing a sperm whale what’s what, but everyone dies in the end (except for the sailor) because, come on man, it’s a fricking monster whale.

(2) In the ultimate revenge fantasy, a man gets tossed in prison for life on the eve of his wedding after being falsely accused of being a Bonapartist (dudes were jealous of his success and his babe of a fiance), but he manages to escape by slipping into a sack containing a dead prisoner, which is tossed into the ocean — whereupon the man escapes and is rescued by some smugglers who take him to an island where he finds buried treasure, which he uses to psychologically, financially and physically destroy the three men who got him in the can in the first place, then ride off into the sunset with his new main chick.

(3) A panoramic view of five aristocratic Russian families in the early 19th century on the brink of a wee hurricane called Napoleon — all of which is interspersed with philosophical tracts grounded in the particular idea that history isn’t marked by the broad, sweeping actions of powerful individuals, but rather that history is created by the will of the people and forever will be.

(4) An erstwhile surgeon takes to the sea and is either attacked by pirates or shipwrecked on every excursion, stumbling upon islands of miniature people, islands of giants and flying islands, an island that pretty much only houses magicians and also Japan before finally settling down on an island governed by highly intelligent horses.

(5) Several rich people want to avoid paying taxes. They go into hiding so they can hang out with this dude who loves objectivism, making engines and capitalism, and also yelling about these things, which he eventually does over the radio, leading to his arrest and subsequent torture — but he manages to escape back to his hideout, where he and his cronies plan a world takeover.

(6) An insane older Spanish nobleman can’t discern the chivalric novels he reads from reality and asks a fat farmer to join him as his dutiful sidekick, and the two go on to fight windmills and get beat up until the nobleman is so embarrassed by his past that he forbids his niece from marrying a man who reads chivalric novels.

(7) A deformed bell-ringer falls for an enchanting gypsy lady, but so does everyone else, including the bell-ringer’s deranged adoptive father, which leads to a triangle of death. The father gives up the gypsy lady to the authorities where she is hanged, the bell-ringer pushes his father off of a building, after which, the bell-ringer dies of starvation next to the gypsy lady’s decaying body.