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re: Why doesn’t everyone sign a pre-nup?

Posted on 4/22/24 at 12:49 pm to
Posted by SquatchDawg
Cohutta Wilderness
Member since Sep 2012
14263 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 12:49 pm to
Two reasons:

1) When most people get married neither of them have shite; and

2) if you’re thinking about how you want things to play out if you get divorced in the future, probably shouldn’t be getting married in the first place.
Posted by StringedInstruments
Member since Oct 2013
18476 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 12:50 pm to
quote:

You are aware that the divorce rate is over 50%, right? I keep forgetting most of the people I’m responding to have never left Louisiana.


Are you implying that people in Louisiana don’t get divorced as often?
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
48831 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 12:52 pm to
quote:

I keep forgetting most of the people I’m responding to have never left Louisiana.

One of these days I hope to visit Picayune, MS before I die.
Posted by thecoconuttiger
Member since Mar 2024
185 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 12:52 pm to
Curious question.

What marriage are you on? First, Second..???
Posted by keakar
Member since Jan 2017
30138 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 12:53 pm to
quote:

Why doesn’t everyone sign a pre-nup?


not me, because i plan to marry a hot rich woman
Posted by TN Tygah
Member since Nov 2023
2061 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 12:58 pm to
quote:

2) if you’re thinking about how you want things to play out if you get divorced in the future, probably shouldn’t be getting married in the first place.


I suppose I was setting myself up for responses like the second half of your post.

I don’t think anyone gets married planning to get divorced. But 50% of marriages fail. They did not all get prenups. They did not all get into it thinking they would get divorced. They were not all stupid ideas to begin with.

This happens because no matter what, no person has 100% control over whether the marriage lasts or not. It’s impossible to. I don’t care how sacred each person is, as long as people are flawed beings, there is potential for things to go sour.
Posted by NoSaint
Member since Jun 2011
11310 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 12:59 pm to
quote:

Introduces doubt at the very beginning of the marriage. Marriage is hard enough as it is, why would want something that is just going to make it harder.


Only introduces doubt because we have culturally created a situation where it’s somehow insulting to follow anything but the generic laws without being “insulting”

Biggest contract of your life and you have to leave the lot with whatever Uncle Sam defaults

Whereas a well crafted agreement that limits prosperous ways to bail may be better for the actual commitment to the relationship
Posted by OysterPoBoy
City of St. George
Member since Jul 2013
35545 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 12:59 pm to
quote:

The only downside to me seems like women don’t like it


And they have 100% of the pussy.
Posted by LaLadyinTx
Cypress, TX
Member since Nov 2018
6087 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 1:00 pm to
quote:


I’m not looking for a cynical “sign a prenup, because all women are whores” response, also not looking for “if you need to sign a prenup she’s a whore” response, I’m just looking for genuine answers.

Is there some kind of legal downside to it? The only downside to me seems like women don’t like it.


Well, we didn't have shite when we got married, so it was unnecessary. Probably the case for a lot of folks.
Posted by SquatchDawg
Cohutta Wilderness
Member since Sep 2012
14263 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 1:00 pm to
I totally get it, but it’s just not something you normally think about unless it’s one of the cases where there’s money for the kids from a previous marriage….I could see that.

I tell you what, after you propose bring up the prenup conversation with your fiancé and then report back on how that goes.
Posted by TN Tygah
Member since Nov 2023
2061 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 1:01 pm to
quote:

Are you implying that people in Louisiana don’t get divorced as often?


I’m implying that there’s a sheltered, old fashioned population in Louisiana that blindly does things a certain way because “that’s just not what you do” even if reality says marriages aren’t as dependable and controllable as they tell us in Sunday school.

The person I responded to scoffed at the fact that I like my odds with my current lady, as if to say, “if you like your odds you wouldn’t be posting this.” Tell that to the 50%, I guess?

Thought it was a reasonable question.
Posted by Evil Little Thing
Member since Jul 2013
11261 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 1:01 pm to
quote:

but all the shite I had before I met her?


Isn’t subject to marital property division in a divorce, at least not in Louisiana.

I have zero problems with prenups. The easiest way to not get (as) screwed in divorce is probably to marry someone with similar earning potential. There’s no real point in raiding each other’s retirement accounts, etc., if you’re contributing fairly equally.
Posted by fallguy_1978
Best States #50
Member since Feb 2018
48831 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 1:03 pm to
quote:

Well, we didn't have shite when we got married, so it was unnecessary. Probably the case for a lot of folks.

Correct, and in that scenario it's fairly meaningless since any wealth, assets you have were created/earned/acquired during the marriage and would be considered community property.
Posted by Y.A. Tittle
Member since Sep 2003
101691 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 1:03 pm to
quote:

quote:
Are you implying that people in Louisiana don’t get divorced as often?


I’m implying that there’s a sheltered, old fashioned population in Louisiana that blindly does things a certain way because “that’s just not what you do” even if reality says marriages aren’t as dependable and controllable as they tell us in Sunday school.


As opposed to where?
Posted by Oates Mustache
Member since Oct 2011
22226 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 1:03 pm to
quote:

Because I think we had $350 in our bank accounts put together


Waffle House really doesn't pay the bills.
Posted by Keyser Sooieze
Member since Apr 2024
66 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 1:04 pm to
quote:

You are aware that the divorce rate is over 50%, right?

I keep forgetting most of the people I’m responding to have never left Louisiana.

The gif is of Kevin Samuels. Some may not be familiar. He would tell you, at 37 and especially if your partner is younger w kid(s), to absolutely do a PN. And he's a riot BTW. Goes straight HAM on today's women. Terrific comedy on YouTube.
Posted by SixthAndBarone
Member since Jan 2019
8324 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 1:05 pm to
It actually should become standard practice for the simple fact that marriage is basically signing a contract that can have legal consequences. We need a generational movement.
Posted by Joshjrn
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2008
27212 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 1:06 pm to
Neither my wife nor I had truly significant assets before we got married, so there wasn’t a strong need. Plus, being an attorney, that power imbalance would have felt kind of icky.

Now, were something to happen and I got remarried in the future? Absolutely.
Posted by thecoconuttiger
Member since Mar 2024
185 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 1:12 pm to
In times past in Europe.. only the royals and very wealthy had marriage contracts. Most of the time the women in those marriages retained their own property.

The poors got married by the priest or pastor at the church.

Marriage has two parts.

Financial and Spiritual

The Financial (Man/Human domain)
The Spiritual (God's domain)

Our society has bastardized marriage and people today just don't get it.
Posted by TDFreak
Dodge Charger Aficionado
Member since Dec 2009
7416 posts
Posted on 4/22/24 at 1:12 pm to
I think a couple of posters actually understood what you were getting at. The rest gave the typical buffoon answers we all know and love.

You make an excellent observation. Given the divorce rate, and the proliferate confusion in the division of assets that follow, some more clarity on the issue would definitely help.

Passing a law this might be the best way to get the stigma removed. When someone complains about a prenup, just say it is required by state law. Then give the marrying public a framework on how to assign ownership/division of assets at time of divorce. And Presto! Divorce Lawyers lose their jobs!
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