re: Anyone been to rehab?

I went to a group in Tomball for a little bit before rehab. After a while of going there and not getting better I stopped going. You have to hit YOUR bottom.

Oh and the mental blank spot is real my friends.

I never mind talking about this. For the most part I dont car what people think, I wouldve died had I kept going.

After years of abuse and aging your body gets tired. Everyone one this site knows after 30 hangovers are nightmares. So, frick a hangover. Take a swig. Then it becomes oh let me just take a little taste at lunch. Then it becomes drinking in the car at lunch to drinking at work if you have an office.

If you are asking yourself can someone be this pathetic? The answer is yes. I was.

I told myself so so so many times that I have to stop. Everything you are going through mentally is derived through fear. Scared of losing this losing that. It boils down to live and be free or become a LITERAL slave to your addiction.

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Everything you are going through mentally is derived through fear. Scared of losing this losing that.

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What about fear of missing out? Because i feel like thats mine and what you are saying is resonating with me. Fear of missing out on getting more done at work, missing out on adventures, missing out on travel, experiences, time with the family etc. all because im stuck staring at the same 4 goddamn walls everyday 55 weeks into 2 weeks to flatten the curve.

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share. share with the group.

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I experience a lot of boredom, because my job is mentally abstract and I do most of my work from home. To alleviate the everyday drudge and misery, I usually start the day with a bloody mary or two and a heavy breakfast. I'll wait until a little after lunchtime, and then I start cracking beers. Sometimes it's only a few, because I actually have shite to do and people to see...but when I am left to my own devices, I can easily get through 20 or so. I rarely get hammered, I just keep a steady buzz until I eventually fall asleep. I also have an undiagnosed panic/anxiety disorder (which may well have developed from alcohol abuse) that only seems to be quelled by pounding a drink or two...I am scared shitless of being prescribed benzos, even if it may help.

ETA: What really doesn't help is that no one can really figure out that I've been drinking, unless I'm really far gone. My speech, demeanor, etc., is all pretty much the same regardless, so it seems like no one can tell that I am having a problem.

Its mind boggling. This effects everyone. I dont care how OT rich you think you are, you let that clear shite get in you, pop pills or like sticking a needle in your arm you are down an interesting path. The first couple of years arent so bad and as the other gentleman said (I think) its fun. Its fun until you cant do a mother fing thing without hitting a bottle. For over 7 years I would avoid going to see family in a different state because I wanted to drink.

Stage character at its best. Directing the traffic of everyone elses lives while not being able to control your own internally. Its scary, it isnt fun oh and frick rehab.

Look up some AA meetings and check one out this weekend, shoot for a afternoon one so you have to stay sober. If you can’t do that just hit up an early one. You don’t have to talk or even engage anyone, plenty of people come and go without anyone thinking of it. Worst case scenario you lose an hour of drinking to sitting there, best case you hear something or meet someone that can help

You're not alone. Mine isn't covid related but back in 2017 I was like you, drink on the weekends. Nothing during the week unless I went to meet friends or went out to eat.

My wife and I started having major problems, during that time I started drinking 2-3 beers every day while we talked. Then it was 5-6 and bourbon once the kids went to bed. Weekends were beer at 10:30 and crush lite all day.

We separated in 2019 for four months and surprisingly it got a little better when I had my kids, when I didn't. I picked up smoking again and was hard at it every night.

I'm a weirdo that absolutely thrives in chaos, during this downward life spiral of the last 3 years I've been promoted twice. My work is 60+ hour weeks and pure stress. My wife and I are back together and it's still a struggle. There are great days, there are really bad days. We don't argue or anything, it's just the gut punch of shite here comes divorce.

The drinking now is a habit thing, I'm used to doing nearly everything in life with a beer. Run to the grocery store, yep gonna pop one open on the ride home. Weekend rolls around, mimosas with breakfast. Thankfully it's 98% beer and I'll have a bourbon before bed.

Still bad enough to wake up with the alcohol shakes and have to chug some coffee to function. Not drinking enough and sleeping like shite, etc.

Yesterday was the first day in at least 3 years I didn't have a beer, I had a bourbon before bed.

My coping mechanism and the desire to remain in a shite relationship so that I have my kids 100% of the time has led me here. Those that will say I could live a happy life without both parents, you haven't lost your kids or you have no idea how much I do and take care of my kids. They would not be who I'm raising them to be without me.

I am not a big AA guy but its most likely the group. However the teachings these men and women pass along especially the old timers is a blessing. All the feelings you feel the hiding etc. its all been done behind those walls lol. I think i learned how to hide stuff better after attending AA for a couple of months.

Yeah you have to shop around some to find a good group that fits you. There are some out there that are miserable people