re: People who return their food everywhere they eat

Only time I've ever returned food was a medium rare ny strip steak that still had unrendered fat on the outside. Sorry, that's unacceptable.

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99% of the public is amazing

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Respectfully, disagree.

I hate eating out with people who:
1. Return food. Only exception is if you order something and they bring out the wrong dish entirely. Like you ordered a burger they bring out a chicken sandwich
2. Are remotely rude to the server
3. Don’t tip accordingly. 15% is the absolute bare minimum but 20% is the standard.

I once ate lunch out with my boss who sent his entree back because "it doesn't look appetizing." It looked fine to me. Some people just want to feel important and this is how they go about it.

People who annoy you are well known for that.

It takes a lot for me to send food back. I pulled hairs out of food and kept it without saying anything.
Only if it's totally wrong or we'll done steak will I send it back.

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if your food is sent out a second time following a complain, the chance it containing saliva or boogers is about 99.97%

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If something comes back twice, which rarely happens, I just assume it's a server issue (ie not properly communicating mods or special instructions), because 90% of the time it is, so any irritation I have is usually directed at them for not properly doing their job.

Sending back an undercooked or improperly temped piece of meat only makes me irritated at myself for not doing my job correctly. Zero irritation with a customer for sending those back. They're paying good money to have food properly prepared to their liking.

A lot of times I'll be ready for something to come back when I send it out, because, when in doubt, always undercook. You can throw it back on if it's too rare for them but you can't uncook it.

Customers that don't know how to order what they like (sending back a med rare steak because "it's still plnk") can be irritating AF, but, I just roll my eyes, curse their family, and try to get it how they want it.

No spit or boogers from me. I'd just refuse service if it came to that point.

I’m a Sous chef at a fine dining restaurant on the north shore. I’ve worked some shitty places on my come up and I’ve never seen anyone sell food that has hit the floor or frick with food in any way. If someone orders a well done whatever with whatever on it, I’m gonna make it the best bullshite plate they’ve ever had. That’s how all real cooks are built. All servers are terrible and everything is our fault, nobody cares, do better. I've never seen food come twice, in the unlikely event it happens the response is simply, “I apologize that your dish is not to your liking, but that’s our best effort and you should find another restaurant that might better meet your needs in your future dining occasions.”

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My bat-shite crazy ex-wife constantly returned food for various reasons and would act very upset. She often got meals compted because of her complaints.

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Somewhat long therapeutic rant. Don't read if not interested.

I'll relate one particularly egregious incident. It was on Valentine's Day and she had moved in with me only a few days previously. I made 7:00 pm reservations at my favorite restaurant (she was from out of town and had no preference). She could not (or actually, did not) get ready on time so we missed the reservation, but the maître d was able to get us a table for 8:30 pm.

After we were seated at the table, she asked me if I had ever taken "that woman" to this restaurant. She was referring to a lady I had been in a previous relationship. I told her I had many times. She announced she was somewhat insulted that I would bring her to the same place.

We let that pass and studied the menu. She said she didn't see anything she liked and that I was to order for her. My favorite was shrimp and grits so I ordered that for us both. She took one bite and said she couldn't eat it, that it was too spicy. The waiter took it back to rinse the shrimp. She was not satisfied, saying it was still too spicy and that it could cause damage to her stomach. The manager came to our table and apologized, didn't charge for her shrimp and grits and gave her a complimentary dessert.

Of course, I never got back to that restaurant until I was able to rid myself of that crazy woman. My new wife loves that restaurant.