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re: WWYD- teenager, new driver, and speeding ticket
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:17 pm to dandan
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:17 pm to dandan
quote:
Way too harsh imo.
Kids will make mistakes. Cut him some slack if he’s been a good kid.
I would recommend restricting driving to school/work for a few weeks and he pays for ticket.
85 in a 55 as a teenager is way, way too fast. If he was a full blown adult, that's spend the night in jail speed.
0
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:19 pm to tigernurse
quote:
The boy was in tears when I arrived.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:19 pm to tigernurse
I think I would do:
• Grounded (as in, not only no car, but no one is taking him anywhere) until court date except for whatever work he might be doing (if he’s able to pay a ticket, sounds like he may be working?)
• Can’t use the car for any purpose besides work until he pays off the ticket (or if he can walk to work, get rides, etc., no car use at all until ticket paid)
• If insurance rates go up due to this, he has to cover the difference as a condition of continued driving
Still a strong message sent, but it’s all directly tailored to what he actually did wrong, he has to work to earn his driving privileges back so he can directly see how much that sucks
and it treats him more like an adult (which I know he isn’t yet, but he’ll buy into the lesson you’re trying to teach him better).
• Grounded (as in, not only no car, but no one is taking him anywhere) until court date except for whatever work he might be doing (if he’s able to pay a ticket, sounds like he may be working?)
• Can’t use the car for any purpose besides work until he pays off the ticket (or if he can walk to work, get rides, etc., no car use at all until ticket paid)
• If insurance rates go up due to this, he has to cover the difference as a condition of continued driving
Still a strong message sent, but it’s all directly tailored to what he actually did wrong, he has to work to earn his driving privileges back so he can directly see how much that sucks
and it treats him more like an adult (which I know he isn’t yet, but he’ll buy into the lesson you’re trying to teach him better).Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:20 pm to tigernurse
Too much.
you aren't really correcting behavior for the most part. the most important thing is to make him/her drive with you in there driving at appropriate speeds.
maybe limit gaming and being alone but wouldn't make it all the time.
seems like maybe you didn't train enough.
you aren't really correcting behavior for the most part. the most important thing is to make him/her drive with you in there driving at appropriate speeds.
maybe limit gaming and being alone but wouldn't make it all the time.
seems like maybe you didn't train enough.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:21 pm to tigernurse
quote:
The boy was in tears when I arrived. He knew he effed all the way up.
I do want him to learn a vv valuable life lesson here though. He could've been killed if a deer had run out in front of him or if he blew a tire or just lost control.
The next time you see a kid his age die in an accident, make him attend the funeral with you. The wail of a mother that loses a child is the thing that nightmares are made of.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:21 pm to dandan
quote:
Way too harsh imo.
Kids will make mistakes. Cut him some slack if he’s been a good kid.
80 in a 55 could get him or someone else killed. Being a good kid is irrelevant. Teen drivers have 0 business going that fast,
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:25 pm to tigernurse
I have raised 5 young men to adulthood. I have seen it all, done it all and made all the mistakes. First thing is, they are all(most anyway) gonna try it. Some get caught, yours did. Certainly some punishment is deserved, even severe punishment. About the only thing I would say is, make it hurt, just not for a long drawn out time. Spank em, turn ‘em loose.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:26 pm to tigernurse
were we not just talking about a dead teenage girl who made a bad decision just a week ago today? Kids and cars can be very dangerous.
Make his arse ride the bus, I wouldn't give him the car back for a long time, I liked no phone no computer no TV and he has to stay in common areas of the house and he is grounded.
Make his arse ride the bus, I wouldn't give him the car back for a long time, I liked no phone no computer no TV and he has to stay in common areas of the house and he is grounded.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:32 pm to tigernurse
Gotta be a teenage boy
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:32 pm to Cracker
We had a long talk last night abt the dangers of his speeding and all that could happen- killing himself, or his friends who were in the car with him - which is also illegal considering he has a restricted DL. I don't know if that is just a TN thing, but new drivers aren't allowed to have anyone under 21 in the car unless they are siblings.
he is vv disappointed with himself and I am hoping that he will learn a really strong lesson here that may one day save his life or someone else's.
His speed was absolutely reckless and he is vv fortunate that we live in a small town and everyone knows everyone.
He will also have to pay for driving school. I forgot to add that to the OP.
he is vv disappointed with himself and I am hoping that he will learn a really strong lesson here that may one day save his life or someone else's.
His speed was absolutely reckless and he is vv fortunate that we live in a small town and everyone knows everyone.
He will also have to pay for driving school. I forgot to add that to the OP.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:33 pm to tigernurse
quote:
The boy was in tears when I arrived.
You hit him with one of these right?
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:33 pm to Cracker
quote:
Make his arse ride the bus, I wouldn't give him the car back for a long time
My youngest is a JR and a 3.5 or so student usually. She fricked off in school first semester this year and rode the bus for the next 9 weeks with her car in the driveway.
My wife said at some point you're just being an a-hole and I said, nope all 9 weeks she can ride the bus. I used to tell her I'd drive her car to work occasionally just so it didn't sit up too long. Her grades went right back up
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:34 pm to tigernurse
quote:
Teenage driver, had DL for one month and was pulled over for speeding 85 in a 55.
Something I started teaching my children from the first moment I saw a spark of understanding in their minds was every decision we make comes with a consequence. Good decisions generally result in good consequences. Bad decisions result in bad consequences. It’s obvious your teen has made a bad decision and now is the time to reinforce this truth. The only question now is what is the best action on your part to teach your teen that their bad decisions will result in bad consequences. Just my opinion, but I’d do the following:
1. No driving for one month
2. No electronics for the same timeframe.
3. Extra chores for the same timeframe.
4. No after-school socializing with friends for the same timeframe.
I would also require them to install the Life360 app on my phone I provide for them to use. And I’d make it clear to them I will monitor their driving habits going forward. If the app shows they drive recklessly again, the punishment laid out above will be repeated.
This post was edited on 1/7/24 at 9:38 pm
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:35 pm to MikeAV8s
quote:
About the only thing I would say is, make it hurt, just not for a long drawn out time. Spank em, turn ‘em loose.
His court date is mid-march. would you let yours drive again before then?
He still has to go to Physical therapy 3x week, and I will allow him to drive to that but no where else. not even school rn.
In my mind, him driving at all rn needs to be for my convenience only.
Is that too much ya think?
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:36 pm to tigernurse
Easy, make him pay it and he cant have car back until he pays it
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:37 pm to dandan
quote:And this is how the downfall of society began. With weak parenting
Way too harsh imo.
Kids will make mistakes. Cut him some slack if he’s been a good kid.
I would recommend restricting driving to school/work for a few weeks and he pays for ticket.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:41 pm to OKBoomerSooner
quote:
Still a strong message sent, but it’s all directly tailored to what he actually did wrong, he has to work to earn his driving privileges back so he can directly see how much that sucks and it treats him more like an adult (which I know he isn’t yet, but he’ll buy into the lesson you’re trying to teach him better).
this is my long term goal in what he will learn through this.
I may give him his gaming stuff back in a few weeks, but he will remain grounded from going and doing and his car will remain parked until the court date- unless I need him to drive himself to PT and back.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:42 pm to tigernurse
I did almost the exact thing, right down to the speed. I had to go to driving school, and I lost my truck for the whole summer. It sucked. Nothing like riding the bus to school for a month, and then staring at your new (new to me) truck sit in the yard.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:45 pm to tigernurse
If said teen has a job, might include him paying the increase in insurance premium, if there is one, as well as paying the ticket. If he doesn’t have a job, might be time for him to get one. Just my opinion. Sounds like you are on top of it though.
Posted on 1/7/24 at 9:46 pm to Adam4848
Misspelled "arse-whooping."
This post was edited on 1/7/24 at 9:47 pm
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