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Posted on 5/3/23 at 9:30 pm to IonaTiger
Welp just finished up doing my fourth step with my sponsor. He lent me the 12 and 12 book to read out of to work on my fifth. I’m not gonna drag my feet on the rest like I did with the fourth. Although I’m nervous as hell about the ninth step.
Posted on 5/3/23 at 9:55 pm to Tbonepatron
quote:
but so much work was put into fixing the anxiety, depression and fear that was causing the drinking
How did you tackle these issues?
Posted on 5/3/23 at 10:19 pm to DavidTheGnome
Info to meetings, and yes I worked the steps. I have even repeatedly worked the steps. Been sober since July 10 2016. It worked for me...... I was scared of step 4 because of step 5. Lol. It's really wasn't a big deal. I have heard others 5 th step and most things they tell me I say yeah me too.
Posted on 5/3/23 at 10:24 pm to DavidTheGnome
Yes I go to meetings, got sober July 10th 2016. It worked for me. Only people I ever seen it didn't work for are the ones who don't work the steps. I sponsor several people now. Heard alit of 5th steps. Most of what I hear I just say... Yeah me too. My life is the best it's ever been, my business has taken off and exceeded anything I ever expected. Good luck!
Posted on 5/3/23 at 10:45 pm to bdavids09
quote:
So how do you get a sponsor?
My personal feelings are go to a few meetings and see who you relate/connect with and approach them about it. They may or may not be sponsoring people at that time for whatever reason but it's no big deal and you can't do it "wrong" so don't worry about offending them or anything
Obviously this person should preferably have a decent amount of time in sobriety
If you need someone to help you in the meantime most groups have a list of numbers you can get that has people on it you can call
Posted on 5/3/23 at 10:59 pm to notiger1997
quote:
How did you tackle these issues?
Not the person you asked but as someone who has had to deal with the same issues I'll thrown in my .02 cents
For me it wasn't a light switch "aha!" Moment. It took time and reading the big book, studying it, lots of prayer, and lots of meetings/fellowship. Before long I could look back at a year previous and I'd realize how much better I handle things now than I did then. Most of my issues were businese/money related. A lot to do with how my dad mismanaged money when I was young and never knowing if we were rich or poor at any given time combined with his habits of spending excessively. It led to me being constantly concerned about "going broke" no matter how well I was doing. I responded Every issue or breakdown of equipment like it was the end of the world and it would literally bankrupt me
Over time I've learned to remember the things I can control and all I can do is my best. If I'm unable to get something fixed today then that's all I can do I will have to try again tomorrow. I've had to really work on the concept that I am not in charge, my higher power is, and that it's not my place to dictate what should or shouldn't be. None of these issues that I have perceived as beyond major in the past have caused me significant issue so there's no reason to believe any of the ones I presently deal with will either. I've tried to avoid getting into religion in this comment but I can't avoid saying my trust and faith in God's deliverance has grown and grown during my time in recovery
The thing id like to stress the absolute most is that it's about PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION. None of us are perfect in reducing our ego and living with humility. Some days I handle issues better than others but on the days I don't handle them well usually by the time I'm home and have showered I'm over it where we before it would be an excellent reason to have a 3 day drunk
I'll also throw in I never had any idea how helpful it is to talk to someone else about whatever issues there are in my life at any given time. I was raised by men who looked down on that, they treated themselves as gods who could do/fix anything and by god didn't need anyone else's help (most of them were alcoholics btw). Well I'm happy to say that isn't the case for me. I need to share with others. Even it it's not even in search for a solution just telling people what's going on makes me feel better
I hope some of that is helpful
This post was edited on 5/3/23 at 11:01 pm
Posted on 5/3/23 at 11:07 pm to DavidTheGnome
quote:
Welp just finished up doing my fourth step with my sponsor
Congrats to you and everyone who posted on here regarding their sobriety. My fourth step dealt with "segments and circles" and my sponsor insisted i go all the way back. Resentments, fears, occurrences of self-serving or selfish behavior. it took some time to put the list together but i got it done. My fifth step took about 2.5 hours and it was cathartic in a way.
For me, it was like holding up a mirror and seeing my character defects really up close. that these were the causes of my over doing it with the booze. so much to the point that to drink was no longer about unwinding or having fun---that it was about feeling normal.
Jump into your fifth step with no reservations. when you are ready to do 6 and 7 your sponsor may have you read "Drop the Rock". it is about doing things a different way in preparation for 10-12 so you can practice the steps in your daily life.
I get the AA and cultish thing but it really helps people. i don't go to as many meetings as i should but i trry to remain mindful of my defects and ask God to help remove them.
And i like that AA is about alcohol only. As someone said, it is all about the singleness of purpose--where we share our experience, strength, and hope to solve our common problem with ALCOHOL. i certainly can empathize and feel compassion for someone who is addicted to ya-yo or smack, but i do not share their experience, as neither is my DOC. As such, i don't know how much help i can be.
I know the treatment centers typically lump it together with, as from a clinical standpoint, it is the same mechanism that triggers addiction. However, as a practical matter for recovery, it is different.
Posted on 5/3/23 at 11:27 pm to DavidTheGnome
I have been to Celebrate Recovery for depression issues. Good group for anyone to attend. They break out into addictions vs other issues.
Posted on 5/4/23 at 2:10 am to wasteland
quote:
Bama and Beer, I would say abandon all preconceived thoughts about AA and throw yourself balls deep into meetings and steps. I’ve helped quite a few drunks I’ve the years like you and there’s usually some reservations or refusing to do something that causes the person to keep drinking. Many times it’s step 4 or step 9 but to me the quickest way to drinking is hesitation to work step 12.
Are you not the guy who said he had a month after relapsing?
Posted on 5/4/23 at 4:44 am to DavidTheGnome
Sober going on 7 years. I occasionally attend meetings but that is not what keeps me sober. After 20 years of being in and out of AA I worked the steps and that was the key. Now, I stay sober by employing those concepts in all of my affairs. simple as that.
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