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Started By
Message
What's the best quotes from The Office (US series)
Posted on 11/28/15 at 9:32 am
Posted on 11/28/15 at 9:32 am
Kelly:
I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me and then it eats all my food so that I don't get fat. And then after three months I take some medicine and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico.
Creed:
That wasn't a tapeworm.
I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me and then it eats all my food so that I don't get fat. And then after three months I take some medicine and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico.
Creed:
That wasn't a tapeworm.
17
Posted on 11/28/15 at 9:45 am to trom83
Like Abraham Lincoln one said: if you're a racist I will attack you with the north.
Why do they call them collared greens? They don't call them collared people.
That's what she said.
Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.
Why do they call them collared greens? They don't call them collared people.
That's what she said.
Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.
Posted on 11/28/15 at 9:50 am to trom83
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
- Wayne Gretsky
- Michael Scott
- Wayne Gretsky
- Michael Scott
This post was edited on 11/28/15 at 9:51 am
Posted on 11/28/15 at 9:54 am to trom83
Tobys HR so hes not really a part of our family
and hes divorced... so hes really not a part of his family
Didnt look it up so might be a little off
and hes divorced... so hes really not a part of his family
Didnt look it up so might be a little off
Posted on 11/28/15 at 10:00 am to wish i was tebow
Dwight's story about stealing the chandelier
Posted on 11/28/15 at 10:06 am to SW2SCLA
Michael: what's the most inspiring thing I've ever said to you?
Dwight: 'don't be an idiot'
Dwight: 'don't be an idiot'
Posted on 11/28/15 at 10:13 am to wish i was tebow
quote:
Tobys HR so hes not really a part of our family
and hes divorced... so hes really not a part of his family
Posted on 11/28/15 at 10:17 am to trom83
It's so fricked up but so funny.
Office is my favorite show of all time. I could quote it all day. But I will save some for everyone else
Office is my favorite show of all time. I could quote it all day. But I will save some for everyone else
Posted on 11/28/15 at 10:47 am to wish i was tebow
bears. beets. battlestar galactica.
Posted on 11/28/15 at 11:07 am to trom83
Michael:
I'll have to make sure I call the guys from YouTube to come tape this.
I'll have to make sure I call the guys from YouTube to come tape this.
Posted on 11/28/15 at 11:50 am to trom83
Dwight Schrute: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
Posted on 11/28/15 at 11:51 am to trom83
Michael Scott: [in regards to Oscar being gay] I would have never called him that if I knew. You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they're acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend.
Michael Scott: [Michael has called Oscar faggy without knowing Oscar is gay] Listen, man, I am so sorry. I had no idea.
Oscar: Oh, it's fine. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Michael Scott: No. No. No, it's not. I just... I feel terrible about it. I have been calling people faggy since I was in junior high, and I have never made this mistake. If I don't know how to behave, it is because I am just so far the opposite way. You know? I'm just... I... I can't even imagine the thing... Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime and you could tell me how you do that to another dude.
Oscar: That sounds like a great, wonderful idea. Let's do that.
Michael Scott: [Michael has called Oscar faggy without knowing Oscar is gay] Listen, man, I am so sorry. I had no idea.
Oscar: Oh, it's fine. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Michael Scott: No. No. No, it's not. I just... I feel terrible about it. I have been calling people faggy since I was in junior high, and I have never made this mistake. If I don't know how to behave, it is because I am just so far the opposite way. You know? I'm just... I... I can't even imagine the thing... Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime and you could tell me how you do that to another dude.
Oscar: That sounds like a great, wonderful idea. Let's do that.
Posted on 11/28/15 at 11:54 am to Notro
Michael: It's like, a girl says she'll make out with you, but then her boyfriend is waiting around the corner with a pee-filled balloon.
Pam: We can't help you if you don't just tell us what happened.
Michael: I got hit in the face with a pee-filled water balloon, Pam, ok? I don't know how they did it. They filled the balloon with pee. A funnel? I don't know. Is that clear enough for you?
Pam: We can't help you if you don't just tell us what happened.
Michael: I got hit in the face with a pee-filled water balloon, Pam, ok? I don't know how they did it. They filled the balloon with pee. A funnel? I don't know. Is that clear enough for you?
This post was edited on 11/28/15 at 11:55 am
Posted on 11/28/15 at 11:59 am to Tactical1
Posted on 11/28/15 at 12:04 pm to trom83
Posted on 11/28/15 at 12:27 pm to GoldenGuy
Posted on 11/28/15 at 12:48 pm to trom83
When two men are gay how do they know which ones penis will open up to accept the other one?
Posted on 11/28/15 at 12:59 pm to Breesus
quote:
When two men are gay how do they know which ones penis will open up to accept the other one?
ANGELA: What is it called when two men intertwine their penises like the snakes on the medic-alert bracelet?
TOBY: Oh... uh...
ANGELA: Is it called red-vining?
DWIGHT: Is it called red-vining?
TOBY: I don’t...
DWIGHT: We heard it was called red-vining.
ANGELA: People red vine.
Posted on 11/28/15 at 1:00 pm to trom83
quote:
If anyone gives you 10,000 to one on anything, you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I am going to be a very rich dude.
quote:
It appears we're one bathrobe short.
Take it from Toby.
This post was edited on 11/28/15 at 1:05 pm
Posted on 11/28/15 at 1:19 pm to trom83
quote:
Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed's brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top. I've read some of it. Even for the Internet, it's... pretty shocking.
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