My name is Kenny, and this is the last text...

I was texting my friend Craig. He invited me to a party, and said that there was lots of hot chicks there.

I said “Are there lots of big ol titties?”

And he wrote back “Hellz yea! Titty city”

And I wrote back “Oh yea, dude! I’m gonna be mayor of titty city with my dong”

Craig wrote back “How you mean?”

And then I wrote “Long story short, dong on titties”

And then he wrote “Just get your arse over here. These titties ain’t gonna suck themselves”

And then I wrote “In car now, tell titties I’m on my way”

And then Craig wrote “hahahahaha just told the titties”

And then I wrote “Driving now. Titties still good?”

And then Craig wrote “You ever heard of bad titties?”

And then I wrote “hahahahaha good point about titties”

And then I wrote “Mmmmm! So close, I can almost smell them. Which apartment is...”

But Craig never got that text. I was over my text limit. I never got to be Mayor of Titty City. I’m switching to mobile SPC.