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Supermarket is closed over fears male shoppers could suffer permanent erections...
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:06 am
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:06 am
Supermarket is closed over fears male shoppers could suffer permanent erections: Spider whose bite can cause bizarre reaction in men sparks evacuation
The spider can cause long-lasting erections and bites can be fatal in cases


The spider can cause long-lasting erections and bites can be fatal in cases
quote:
An Austrian supermarket was evacuated after the store manager reportedly spotted a banana-loving spider capable of causing permanent erections in men.
quote:
The Penny shop in Krems an der Donau, 45 miles west of Vienna, remains closed since Tuesday over fears of the four-inch black and red spider.
Emergency services were called and warn the spider, still at large, may have been a highly venomous Brazilian Wandering Spider, known to reach Europe by hiding in bunches of bananas.
The creature is one of the planet's most venomous spiders, and bites can be fatal after causing hypothermia, blurred vision, convulsions and, in some cases, erections. The spider's venom is even being studied for use in erectile dysfunction treatments after it was found that a bite from one of the spiders can give male victims a painful four-hour erection.
quote:
spokesman for the Rewe retail group said that 'comprehensive cleaning and disinfection measures' are now under way to prepare the store for reopening.
But authorities added that: 'Despite an extensive search, no spiders have been found to date.'
quote:
The size and colouring of the 'unidentifiable' spider led authorities to believe it was a Brazilian Wandering Spider, capable of emitting a deadly neurotoxin.
Some 4,000 people are bitten by the arachnid each year, with 0.5 per cent of bites leading to death.
Much has been done to develop an effective anti-venom, reducing the likelihood of death.
But just one bite from the spider can also cause severe cramping and tachycardia, or an increased heart rate.
The Brazilian Wandering spider appears in the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's most venomous arachnid.
Its scientific name - Phoneutria - is Greek for ‘murderess’.

Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:08 am to saint tiger225
I fail to see the downside.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:09 am to saint tiger225
quote:
the four-inch
I've got your four inches right here....

Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:09 am to saint tiger225
quote:
the spider, still at large, may have been a highly venomous Brazilian Wandering Spider

Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:09 am to saint tiger225
Get bit by insane spider
*frick yeah I'm going to be Spider-Man*
Gets super boner.
*frick yeah I'm going to be Spider-Man*
Gets super boner.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:09 am to saint tiger225
Day-o day-o
Daylight come and
Me wanna go home
Daylight come and
Me wanna go home
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:10 am to SixthAndBarone
But I want a permanent erection
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:10 am to bigwheel
If it lasts four hours or more, call someone to brag about it.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:13 am to saint tiger225
I got bit by this spider and all it made me do was shoot white goo.


Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:13 am to saint tiger225
In other news, a local man just died from chaffing.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:13 am to saint tiger225
quote:
banana-loving spider
There's a Lizzo joke in here somewhere.....
quote:
capable of causing permanent erections in men.
Nevermind.....
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:14 am to saint tiger225
quote:
bites can be fatal after causing hypothermia, blurred vision, convulsions and, in some cases, erections
Sounds like my typical sex life.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:14 am to saint tiger225
quote:
permanent erection

Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:15 am to BoogaBear
quote:
Get bit by insane spider
*frick yeah I'm going to be Spider-Man*
Gets super boner.

Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:25 am to BoogaBear
quote:
Get bit by insane spider
*frick yeah I'm going to be Spider-Man*
Gets super boner.
You just need to get a little cape to tie on.
Posted on 8/10/23 at 10:37 am to saint tiger225
ole baw searching separately hoping to get bit
Posted on 8/10/23 at 11:16 am to saint tiger225
Booking my flight now
Posted on 8/10/23 at 11:27 am to saint tiger225
In other news, a horde of men has lined up outside the Super Market...
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