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Want To Be A Secret Service Agent? Here Are The 12 Job Requirements

Posted on 7/18/24 at 12:41 pm
Posted by PsychTiger
Member since Jul 2004
104155 posts
Posted on 7/18/24 at 12:41 pm


quote:

1. Ability to navigate deadly 5-degree roof pitch: Not for the faint of heart.

2. Can holster a gun in under sixty seconds: Bonus points if you can get it in four tries.

3. Able to avoid getting distracted by people screaming, "Hey, there's a guy with a gun on the roof.": Focus is key.

4. Be less than 5'6" tall: Must be able to easily hide behind the President.

5. Able to do at least two girl push-ups: Only the strongest can make the cut.

6. Already owns sunglasses: The Secret Service is on a budget, after all.

7. Can identify the most likely places for assassins to shoot from: Not to guard them, mind you. That's just what they would be expecting!

8. Willing to shield the president with your body after he's already been shot: Patience is critical.

9. Vision between 20/20 and 20/1,000: Just run in the direction of the screaming.

10. Can pull off a 360-degree no-scope sniper headshot: While playing Call of Duty: Warzone, that is.

11. Skilled at taking pictures of assassins setting up their shot: They will be very helpful later in seeing where the bullets came from.

12. Ability to distinguish serious threats: Like a grandma with a small American flag as opposed to a non-threat like a crazed loner holding a rifle on top of a nearby building.


LINK
Posted by tketaco
Sunnyside, Houston
Member since Jan 2010
21107 posts
Posted on 7/18/24 at 12:52 pm to
Bee Thread, frick me.
Posted by OMLandshark
Member since Apr 2009
117998 posts
Posted on 7/18/24 at 12:57 pm to


Seriously, why not at this point? He’s a hell of a good shot and he’d protect Trump better than any of those clowns on Saturday.
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