re: 5 months sober and need to hear some terrible partying stories.

I got one for ya.

Doing work in Mexico, they have a chick that works next to the hotel at a restaurant called Pinups. It’s a 50’s diner joint but has bands that cater to the Canadians that are here. Anyway met this chick named Gabby on my first trip here who worked at the restaurant. She was sweet and was bilingual. After eating there several times and becoming “cool” with the bartender after buying weed through him, she and I exchanged phone numbers. So we texted a little and the next time I ate there, she asked me if I wanted to go to a bar when she gets off that night. I was eating early that night so I went to the hotel and came back when she got off. Her friend was singing/performing at a bar called Cheers within walking distance of the hotel and we went there together. We met two guy friends of hers there and listened to the show while drinking. Well one of the two guys that we were with was flaming and the other I didn’t know he was gay at the time.
After Cheers closed, she asked me if I wanted to go to another bar but she wasn’t sure I would be down. It was a gay bar! I am from the Nola area and figured frick it. I know I am straight and this will make a great story. So I ended up paying 200 pesos to get in and low and behold, there was a drag show that night. So I’m thinking that I fricked up but said frick it, these guys know I am too much man for them . She took me by the hand and we went towards the back where she and I danced most of the night. There was definitely a drag show on the stage and it was one of the more abnormal nights in my life . I ended up having fun and the night ended with her jumping the curb at the hotel when she dropped me off. I didn’t hear from her for two days and then she got me up out the blue. We talked about that night and I told her how I thought I was getting lucky that night but didn’t. That leads to us basically sexting and her asking me if I would have a threesome with her and her friend! She had never done it and as long as the other had a vagina i was in! The other chick was gorgeous! I met them downstairs at my hotel and they came to my room. Gabby told me she was gonna shower and I should talk to her friend sexually but she doesn’t speak English. I understand some Spanish but when it comes to being smooth and talking sexually, I was speaking gringo eapanol! Turns out that I ended up having a threesome with one OT8 and one OT6.5. It was straight out of a porno! At the end of the night, Gabby asked me if I could pay for her friends Uber and I have her $40 and felt like I just paid a hooker.
Don’t know why I shared other than the fact I am back in the same town in Mexico for work right now and you asked for some stories. Plus I am three ballenas in plus a joint. So there ya go.

I “lived” in City Park Nola for 9 days/nights when I had a perfectly good home in Uptown. Remember how bad it use to be. Your discomfort now is a walk in the park compared to the despair you use to live through. You got this.

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It was straight out of a porno! At the end of the night, Gabby asked me if I could pay for her friends Uber and I have her $40 and felt like I just paid a hooker.
Don’t know why I shared other than the fact I am back in the same town in Mexico for work right now and you asked for some stories. Plus I am three ballenas in plus a joint. So there ya go.

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sounds like you def paid for a Mexican hooker and sounds like you'e on your way to paying for another one tonight

Started drinking when I was 22. Just turned 28. So only 6 years, which is nothing compared to some people here.

But I think a lot of why I don't drink much anymore (1-2 units of bourbon a week) is that I remember what it feels like to be sober BEFORE alcohol. I never had any craving to drink because I didn't know what it felt like. I was eventually curious, so my friend bought some SoCo and I had maybe 3-4 shots throughout the night and that was enough to tell me it could loosen me up, and gave me an extreme dopamine rush.

From there, just the usual stops me.

10 or so nights of puking throughout those years.
Nights that I can barely piece together.
Late night doordash binges because I lose all control of my impulses.
Running up bar and restaurant tabs with no second thought.
Getting into stupid fights with my wife because I had impaired judgement and said something wrong, or something I didn't mean.
Slowed thinking the next day.
Terrible hangovers the further into my 20s I go.

I've never gotten behind the wheel while drinking. I've never hit anybody. I've never done anything crazy. In fact, I mostly just get kinda sloppy after quite a few, which is benign compared to some people I know. A lot of people can't remember what it was like before alcohol, and I feel like that aids in my decision. I don't abstain, but it makes it much easier to only stick to 1 or 2 when I decide to drink nowadays. I recognize that, for whatever reason, I have a luxury that many people do not.

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Got roofied at a VFW bingo night
Drop kicked the cake at a wedding reception
So many fat chicks

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Reads like an awesome/fricked up haiku...

14 years sober here!

I once got wasted and did a bunch of meth. Meth dealer left me at her house to watch her 2 year old while going to the store. She got arrested and never came back and I had been awake 4 days

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job, all possessions.

That's what Will happen again should I take that first drink. Don't do it.

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Been there, plus my freedom for 10 months. Jail sucks. If I drink, I’ll end up back there. Maybe not right away, but sooner every time. No thanks. 4.5 years sober.

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U need Jesus in ur life every day. U can’t call the bar tender for help, but u can always call on Jesus, amen my bro.

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Headboard banger

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Does Jesus approve of the banging headboard?

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the brides grandmother died in the church

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Did she at least make it through the vows?