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re: Wife is mad because I won't go to in laws twice in three weeks
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:03 pm to SidewalkTiger
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:03 pm to SidewalkTiger
Can't give a opinion without pictures.
0
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:16 pm to John Casey
quote:
than time just doing nothing at home.
Serious question. Is this really what most of you do on the weekends?
Can't relate to OP's 6 hours away situation requiring an overnight stay, but we are fairly busy weekenders, and dedicating a weekend a month to sitting around either of our parents' houses would be impossible without missing out on a lot of our own social lives. It also seems quite boring and like you'd run out of things to talk about -- nevermind how much I dislike staying in someone's home vs. a hotel in general.
Maybe I'm in the minority, but I think you can have healthy relationships with your parents via regular phone calls and occasional visits. Hell, my MIL and my mother know details as small as what we eat for dinner most nights, and we don't see either one often.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:22 pm to SidewalkTiger
quote:
That's like half the distance, baw
It's a 5 hour round trip, aren't you complaining about a 6 hour round trip?
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:23 pm to Epic Cajun
He said they’re six hours away, right?. I took that to mean 12 round-trip.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:24 pm to SidewalkTiger
I originally thought you were an arse. If you do 12 hrs round trip basically once a month to visit them then you’re good to go lol. Efff that noise
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:27 pm to Nado Jenkins83
quote:
6 hours each way?
Yes.
12 hrs round trip.
This post was edited on 5/8/24 at 4:29 pm
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:27 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
He said they’re six hours away, right?. I took that to mean 12 round-trip.
Maybe I misunderstood, I thought he meant 6 hour round trip. If it's 12 hours round trip, yeah I'm not doing that monthly
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:28 pm to SidewalkTiger
I don’t understand asking anyone to do something they don’t want to do.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:28 pm to TigerMan327
Honestly, for me, the drive just adds insult to injury. Expecting grown adults, especially without children, to sleep over at your home 10 to 12 times a year for multiple nights is pretty crazy.
I did see that OP clarified this isn’t really something her parents are demanding or expecting, but rather something his wife is stuck on.
OP, if I were you, I would sit down with her when you’re not fighting about it and just explain your mismatched expectations. Maybe you can come to a compromise. Personally, I think the frequency you’re going would be too much, but I realize everybody treats seeing family in person differently. Maybe that is your compromise.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:32 pm to SidewalkTiger
I had a really good boss once that used to ask me a simple question when I wanted to throw down on something or someone....
"....do you really want to risk dying on that hill?"
My advice is worth the price you paid for it. Good luck.
"....do you really want to risk dying on that hill?"
My advice is worth the price you paid for it. Good luck.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 4:38 pm to SidewalkTiger
Renegotiate for some road head
Posted on 5/8/24 at 5:00 pm to SidewalkTiger
I’d go on this trip to keep the peace and then talk about the longer term outlook of taking that many weekend trips to see her family when you get home. That doesn’t sound sustainable to me, at least while maintaining any semblance of an independent social life.
I actually had a similar situation pop up last year with a few of my wife’s semi-optional family events lining up several weeks in a row. Thankfully we didn’t have to do as much driving as OP, but I still made it clear to my wife that between those trips and work, I wasn’t going to see any friends or my own family for a couple months. She made sure to keep our schedule more open for awhile after that.
I actually had a similar situation pop up last year with a few of my wife’s semi-optional family events lining up several weeks in a row. Thankfully we didn’t have to do as much driving as OP, but I still made it clear to my wife that between those trips and work, I wasn’t going to see any friends or my own family for a couple months. She made sure to keep our schedule more open for awhile after that.
This post was edited on 5/8/24 at 5:08 pm
Posted on 5/8/24 at 5:00 pm to Bert Macklin FBI
quote:
relationship when all their spouses happily made both trips
Not sure IF this is a proven fact.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 5:10 pm to Crowknowsbest
quote:
I’d go on this trip to keep the peace and then talk about the longer term outlook of taking that many weekend trips to see her family when you get home. That doesn’t sound sustainable to me, at least while maintaining any semblance of an independent social life.
I actually had a similar situation pop up last year with a few of my wife’s semi-optional family events lining up several weeks in a row. Thankfully we didn’t have to do as much driving as OP, but I still made it clear to my wife that between those trips and work, I wasn’t going to see any friends or my own family for a couple months. She made sure to keep our schedule more open for awhile after that.
This is it OP.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 5:14 pm to Epic Cajun
quote:
Maybe I misunderstood, I thought he meant 6 hour round trip. If it's 12 hours round trip, yeah I'm not doing that monthly
That's round trip time to my MILs so I don't think my wife would want to do that either 2 out of 3 weekends unless it was an emergency. We'd spend half of the weekend driving and a day and a half visiting.
Over the last 20+ years we've probably averaged 2-3 trips per year. Less now since my FIL is gone and we don't have younger kids.
This post was edited on 5/8/24 at 5:17 pm
Posted on 5/8/24 at 5:23 pm to AwgustaDawg
This gentleman's post takes First Prize -
quote:
No doubt. First off say there is one adult wife and 2 kids. None of the motherfrickers can control their bodily functions....if they think they may need to shite or piss sometime during the next 4 or 5 days it is an IMMEDIATE emergency that must be corrected immediately. They certainly will not have their bodily functions in synch....and nary a one of the bastards will think to go to the bathroom while the whole damned lot is stopped, At some point in time they are going to get hungry cause god forbid they should go more than 4 hours without slinging something down their throat. One would think, if they were not exposed to this shite, that them all living together there'd be some consensus on where and what to eat. There is not....each one of them will have an agenda and an excuse as to why the other agendas will not fit the bill. Finally, after exhaustive negotiations, recriminations, mentions of all manner of stomach ailments and health conditions, they will settle on Chick Fil A which, by the way, you mentioned about 8 hours ago and none of the ungrateful fricks thought it was a good idea. Of course most likely you will all wind up at McDonalds instead because the line at Chick Fil A is about as long as the trip itself or, and this one is always a good one, it is Sunday and they are closed which means it is the only thing on the planet that would please any one of them!
Despite the lot of the frickers having eaten about 80% of their lives caloric intake in similar situations, when you get to the menu sign they will collectively suddenly develop 2 things...a complete lack of memory and the tastes of a European gourmet. They will have you believe they have never seen a McDonalds menu before AND that they won't eat just anything despite the fact that you have seen both kids eat boogers and the wife has had shite in her mouth that you wouldn't dare put in yours. Finally, after more discussions about stomach issues and what gives one gas and constipates another, they will order EXACTLY the same thing they always order. Luckily, after being fed and at least one drink being spilled, they will get drowsy and fall asleep and leave you to your own thoughts....until their uncontrollable body functions kick in and the whole circus starts again. Yeah, its a fricking BALL.....
Posted on 5/8/24 at 5:31 pm to SidewalkTiger
quote:
No, this is some of the problem.
She has a very tight knit family, I don't.
She says things like, "I would do it for you" but I wouldn't do this type of thing even for my own family.
Plus, I don't mind doing my family stuff alone, she wants me at all of hers.
So the “I would do it for you” is pretty manipulative given the time you’re being expected to travel. We just did Asheville which is about 5 1/2 each way and while I loved the trip I’d want no part of doing that multiple weekends in a row for a month.
At this point I think it’s worth sitting down and realistically having a conversation about what she’s asking for you to do. And I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say no to some of it.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 5:52 pm to BluegrassBelle
Agreed. That's not really a weekend trip to me. Ours is 400 miles one way.
You almost have to take off Friday or Monday to get all of the stuff done that you didn't because you were traveling (laundry, errands, yard work etc). You can do it and be back at work Monday morning, but it sucks.
You almost have to take off Friday or Monday to get all of the stuff done that you didn't because you were traveling (laundry, errands, yard work etc). You can do it and be back at work Monday morning, but it sucks.
Posted on 5/8/24 at 5:59 pm to AwgustaDawg
This is why I don’t like it when my wife insists on coming along when I have to do custody exchanges.
It changes from me, the kid being exchanged, and possibly one of their siblings doing it with me running the show and being able to adapt to me having to drive my wife’s SUV that I hate, bringing all the kids, and stopping for whatever bullshite she insists on doing. Then she wonders why I want to be on my phone when we are stopped after such a trip.
It changes from me, the kid being exchanged, and possibly one of their siblings doing it with me running the show and being able to adapt to me having to drive my wife’s SUV that I hate, bringing all the kids, and stopping for whatever bullshite she insists on doing. Then she wonders why I want to be on my phone when we are stopped after such a trip.
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