- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Nursing homes are so depressing
Posted on 5/29/26 at 11:36 pm to CocomoLSU
Posted on 5/29/26 at 11:36 pm to CocomoLSU
quote:
euthanasia
Isn't that basically what late life hospice is? My dad was over 91 and died 18 hours after morphine was initiated at 2.5 mg? every three hours.
4 doses and he was dead. I don't think he woke up to get dosed the morning after it was begun.
2
Posted on 5/29/26 at 11:37 pm to Jim Rockford
quote:
He told me one time, "I don't have anybody I can reminisce with any more."
I think that’s how my FIL felt. My MIL was a special lady and had plenty of friends. My FIL went a long with her on a lot of the things she did but he was basically friendless without her.
I was worried about my dad when he retired after seeing and interacting with people every day for 42 years, but he’s been super active. Plays golf 3 days a week and shot an 84 (from the old man tees) last week. Don’t think he’s shot in the 80s in like 30 years. I thought he may end up just sitting at home doing nothing but he never misses anything my kids do unless he’s already committed to something for either of my siblings kids.
Posted on 5/29/26 at 11:46 pm to Red Stick Tigress
quote:
Isn't that basically what late life hospice is? My dad was over 91 and died 18 hours after morphine was initiated at 2.5 mg? every three hours.
4 doses and he was dead. I don't think he woke up to get dosed the morning after it was begun.
IYAM the big hole in the hospice paradigm is the dementia catch 22. Here are the medicare guidelines for qualifying for hospice with dementia.
quote:
Medicare Hospice Benefit Guidelines can help in determining eligibility for hospice care for
people living with advanced dementia. To be eligible for hospice, people with advanced dementia
should meet both of the following criteria:
Functional Assessment Staging Tool (FAST): Patient must be at or beyond stage 7c and show
all of the features of stages 6a-7c.
? Stage 6a: Cannot dress without assistance
? Stage 6b: Cannot bathe without assistance
? Stage 6c: Cannot toilet without assistance
? Stage 6d: Incontinent of urine occasionally or frequently
? Stage 6e: Incontinent of bowel occasionally or frequently
? Stage 7a: Speech limited to fewer than 6 intelligible words during an average day
? Stage 7b: Speech limited to a single intelligible word during an average day
? Stage 7c: Unable to ambulate independently
? Stage 7d: Cannot sit up independently
? Stage 7e: Cannot smile
? Stage 7f: Cannot hold head up independently
Medical conditions: Patients must have had at least 1 of these listed medical conditions over
the prior year.
? Aspiration pneumonia
? Pyelonephritis or other upper urinary tract infection
? Septicemia
? Pressure ulcer, multiple, stage 3-4
? Recurrent fever after treatment with antibiotics
? Eating problems such that fluid or food intake is insufficient to sustain life (or, if tube fed, weight loss 10%
over prior 6 months or serum albumin <2.5 g/dL)
By that point you're essentially a shell and have already suffered for months, if not years. If people in the early stages want to exit with some of their mental capacity and dignity left, they should have that choice.
Posted on 5/30/26 at 12:02 am to Jim Rockford
I agree. My dad had none of those.
He was Dxd with congestive heart failure and sisterwitch decided to hospice him. CGH can last years.
He was Dxd with congestive heart failure and sisterwitch decided to hospice him. CGH can last years.
Posted on 5/30/26 at 12:02 am to Jim Rockford
My wife has written permission to put a pillow over my face the minute I can't wipe my own arse. I mean it too. On the other hand, I would suffer anything to take care of her or my parents.
Posted on 5/30/26 at 6:17 am to Burt Reynolds
Helps if you’re retired to take care of them in their own home. Even better if multiple children are retired.
Posted on 5/30/26 at 6:36 am to Jim Rockford
As with anything it depends on how much money you have. I had a grandparent at The Blake, place is awesome I wanted to move in.
Posted on 5/30/26 at 6:41 am to Carson123987
quote:
pay for my parents to get live-in assistance
That is no guarantee of good care unless you know the caregivers.
Posted on 5/30/26 at 6:47 am to Burt Reynolds
quote:
People who let their parents go to nursing homes and not take care of them in their own home are pieces of shite imo Your parents took care of you so you should take care of them
Wait until you learn about the realities of dementia. My father in law had to go to a home or he would’ve ended up accidentally hurting his wife. He was batshit out of his mind demented and still physically strong.
Posted on 5/30/26 at 7:11 am to Jim Rockford
We don't treat our pet dogs like this
Posted on 5/30/26 at 7:22 am to Burt Reynolds
quote:
People who let their parents go to nursing homes and not take care of them in their own home are pieces of shite imo
Your parents took care of you so you should take care of them
Should your young children be subjected to the risk of having their grandmother or grandfather walk in to their room naked or have that same grandparent urinate on the floor in their rooms during delusional moments?
As a parent who has had young children and an aging parent in the same residence, I knew then and continue to believe now that a parent and grandparent’s role is to prioritize the younger generation.
My sons already know that I will not want to be a burden to my children or be a cause of lifelong psychological trauma to my grandchildren. It’s my responsibility to have sufficient financial resources to pay for end of life housing if my mental health deteriorates to that point. I want to be housed so that I am not a financial and psychological drain on my family. They owe me nothing. I owe them. I want them to have a better future and that goal cannot be achieved by being the center of their attention when there is no hope for me to get better.
The other responsibility as a soon to be grandparent is to take care of my physical and mental health so that I stay healthy as long as possible. LINK
quote:
According to the updated estimates, 45% of future dementia could potentially be prevented if all 14 risk factors were eliminated, with high midlife LDL cholesterol and untreated vision loss in late life contributing 7% and 2%, respectively.
Posted on 5/30/26 at 7:24 am to Jim Rockford
Sadly, we treat our pets more humanely. Elder care is a huge industry designed to suck the last penny out of ones bank account long after any real quality of life has gone.
This post was edited on 5/30/26 at 8:30 am
Posted on 5/30/26 at 7:29 am to Red Stick Tigress
quote:
Isn't that basically what late life hospice is? My dad was over 91 and died 18 hours after morphine was initiated at 2.5 mg? every three hours.
4 doses and he was dead. I don't think he woke up to get dosed the morning after it was begun.
My mother was in hospice for 3 years after clearly qualifying for it. A friend of mine’s father was in hospice for 5. Some humans don’t give up easily.
Posted on 5/30/26 at 7:30 am to Jim Rockford
Nursing homes and daycares are the shadow sides of the American dreams of mobility and prosperity. We lost the natural human condition of multigenerational dwellings.
Posted on 5/30/26 at 7:50 am to STLDawg
quote:
We lost the natural human condition of multigenerational dwellings.
I don't know anyone in my family, or anyone else's family who, when they got old, ever suggested to their children "Let's sell all my stuff and let me live with you." No, they rocked the single, elderly lifestyle until they lost their keys, then went to a nursing home. 99% of the mentality is to "not be a burden" on their children. But If grandma liquidated all her assets and moved in with their daughter when she was 75, instead of hitting the nursing home at 85, everyone would have been better off.
Point is, you're 100% right, but all generations have a vote in this, not just the current working one. (Ok maybe not the daycare kids, but Grandma could've watched little johnny instead of playing hearts with Agnes.)
Posted on 5/30/26 at 7:57 am to notiger1997
quote:
My parents had almost no money du to losing everything in the 2016 flood.
Happened to probably thousands of people yet nobody talks about about it. Really tragic.
Posted on 5/30/26 at 7:58 am to BitBuster
My heart breaking experience that still haunts me was visiting my grandmother in a nursing home. All her life she was very active and spoiled me to no end. When I went to visit she was in a wheel chair and stared at me with no idea who I was.
I kept repeating what she called me, "her little heart string", with no reaction at all. My mom then said it was time for us to go. She lived for another six months.
I kept repeating what she called me, "her little heart string", with no reaction at all. My mom then said it was time for us to go. She lived for another six months.
Posted on 5/30/26 at 8:04 am to Jim Rockford
When I was about 16 y/o or so a friend and I had the job of going into the nursing home and removing the A/C units out the wall in every room and taking them to the car wash for cleaning. We would do two at a time. Those poor people thought we were stealing their A/C units and they would never get them back. lol
I learned a lot that summer. And none of it was positive.
I learned a lot that summer. And none of it was positive.
Posted on 5/30/26 at 8:08 am to Jim Rockford
quote:
warehousing people, sometimes for years, after their minds and bodies are completely gone isn't it.
Big business.
Sound like owner of place where your parents lived was exceptional.
I met guy who owned multiple in S TX. He kept referring to people as “revenue per bed.” I wanted to reach into his soul to make him say “people”. Took me 3 attempts.
Never found his soul.
This post was edited on 5/30/26 at 8:09 am
Posted on 5/30/26 at 8:08 am to CaptainsWafer
quote:
While they can be quite depressing, I think there is something to be said about being as active as possible as you age. Hopefully that would keep you from being in one in the first place.
It's hard to be active when most nursing homes administer psychotropics to their residents to keep them docile. It makes old people feel sleepy to where they have no energy.
This post was edited on 5/30/26 at 8:09 am
Page 2 of 4
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News