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re: Boomers and end of life care
Posted on 6/20/21 at 5:41 am to SquatchDawg
Posted on 6/20/21 at 5:41 am to SquatchDawg
quote:
Now he is dying of cancer and fully expects both of them to leave their families to come and care for him
Selfish bastard.
But I have never heard of a situation like this. He seems extremely shitty.
0
Posted on 6/20/21 at 5:42 am to NC_Tigah
quote:
Perhaps as 'boomers' did for their parents?
Except they didn’t. Why do you think we have so many nursing homes?
Posted on 6/20/21 at 5:43 am to macjonesgoat
quote:
They can pay for their own fricking retirement since I had to figure out college on my own.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
This post was edited on 6/20/21 at 5:45 am
Posted on 6/20/21 at 6:28 am to SquatchDawg
quote:
thought this was just his personality but the more we talk about this with friends it seems to be a recurring theme to where Boomer parents expect their children to completely drop everything to come care for them and will not consider nursing or going to a facility
It’s funny because Boomers raised tons of latchkey kids,and were a ridiculously absentee parenting selfish generation, and pretty much all of them just stuck their own parents in nursing homes and forgot about them.
And now that they’re getting old they’re full of regret and demanding children they were rarely their for to drop everything and be there for them.
Boomers really are the worst generation in almost every way.
This post was edited on 6/20/21 at 6:29 am
Posted on 6/20/21 at 6:33 am to SquatchDawg
My mother-in-law got dementia and had to go to long term care. $60+ per year for several years. Her two sons did not want to care for her. So all the money she worked for to leave them an inheritance was sucked dry.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 6:36 am to SquatchDawg
quote:
Until recently he had found an old woman on some dating website and thought she was going to be the one to take care of him. After a year of this lady living with him and taking care of him she gave him an ultimatum of she would not stay unless he gave her his house. Prior to this he basically told his two daughters that they need to do everything they could to make this crazy bitch happy because she was going to take care of him. She was a nut and openly hostile to my wife as she was trying to help take care of her dad.
After she gave him the ultimatum he cut her loose and now we’re at the point to where we having to find someone to be there fill the time that she was there
fricking Boomers are the worst generation. This is proved time and time again.
This post was edited on 6/20/21 at 6:38 am
Posted on 6/20/21 at 6:37 am to JudgeHolden
quote:
Except they didn’t. Why do you think we have so many nursing homes?
How many beds vs Sr citizens? We have always had nursing homes. We have less than 2 million beds available and over 50 million seniors. Someone is taking care of them.
This board is woefully ignorant of anything that happened pre 2000.
The nursing home explosion occurred in the 50's when government funds became available.
quote:
and payments for OAA exploded from $36 million in 1950 to $280 million in 1960, a 680% increase.
LINK
Posted on 6/20/21 at 6:50 am to SquatchDawg
OP, remember Karma is a bitch…
Side note: How old is your f-I-l?
Side note: How old is your f-I-l?
This post was edited on 6/20/21 at 7:01 am
Posted on 6/20/21 at 7:01 am to SquatchDawg
quote:
SquatchDawg
You sound like a real dick.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 7:05 am to SquatchDawg
I’m a boomer and had a similar situation with my parents. We were the nearest of three children and most of the care fell on us. Tried a visiting care giver for a while. Finally the doctor told me that if we left my parents alone at home and left town then they would be placed in a facility by the state. Told dad that and gave him the choice of picking a facility or letting the state do it. Oh he wouldn’t use a walker and fell and fractured vertebrae too. I was dealing with my own cancer and couldn’t do more than I was doing with frequent trips to help.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 7:11 am to ChenierauTigre
I talk with clients about this all the time:
1. If you have millions, you probably won't run out. If you have no money gubment gonna set you up (in a home). Both groups probably OK w/o insurance. It's the people in the middle who get squeezed out of everything they work for
2. Long term care insurance is expensive, but worth it. We usually build plans that take SS and savings into account so that they can actually afford a policy
3. They need to come up with a care plan, a contingency plan (in case it is impossible for them to stay in home), and have a medical directive and medical POA in place
4. They need to make damn sure that their kids are on board before they rely on them for care. Never assume anything
1. If you have millions, you probably won't run out. If you have no money gubment gonna set you up (in a home). Both groups probably OK w/o insurance. It's the people in the middle who get squeezed out of everything they work for
2. Long term care insurance is expensive, but worth it. We usually build plans that take SS and savings into account so that they can actually afford a policy
3. They need to come up with a care plan, a contingency plan (in case it is impossible for them to stay in home), and have a medical directive and medical POA in place
4. They need to make damn sure that their kids are on board before they rely on them for care. Never assume anything
This post was edited on 6/20/21 at 7:13 am
Posted on 6/20/21 at 7:14 am to SquatchDawg
I’m a boomer and when the writing’s on the wall, I’m perfectly willing to make the right choice and commend myself to God’s loving care, thus to spare my loved ones any prolonged suffering.
Obviously, “the writing on the wall” will not be singularly definitive to one and all, but quality of remaining life will/would be part of my personal calculus. My quality of life suffers when my life causes the unnecessary suffering of others.
JMO…
Obviously, “the writing on the wall” will not be singularly definitive to one and all, but quality of remaining life will/would be part of my personal calculus. My quality of life suffers when my life causes the unnecessary suffering of others.
JMO…
Posted on 6/20/21 at 7:15 am to Darth_Vader
My wife’s grandmother did this to her two daughters.
She moved in requiring 24 he a day care.
She lived for 13 more years. 13.
She moved in requiring 24 he a day care.
She lived for 13 more years. 13.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 8:24 am to SquatchDawg
As a matter of semantics...I think you are probably talking about the generation before boomers, or people who are in their 80s and older now. (I think the oldest boomers are in their 70s.) But the boomers definitely need to be taking note.
We have similar, though not so drastic situations in our family. This is the generation that remembers the tail end of the depression and WWII. They are reluctant to spend money except when absolutely necessary. And when they grew up families lived together and women didn't work so taking care of family members needs made perfect sense.
I've already made up my mind that when I get older I'm going to look for assisted living or something similar so that my kids don't have to deal with my every day care.
We have similar, though not so drastic situations in our family. This is the generation that remembers the tail end of the depression and WWII. They are reluctant to spend money except when absolutely necessary. And when they grew up families lived together and women didn't work so taking care of family members needs made perfect sense.
I've already made up my mind that when I get older I'm going to look for assisted living or something similar so that my kids don't have to deal with my every day care.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 8:36 am to SquatchDawg
Such a rough situation. Full time care is what it means, no breaks, full time and is very, very hard on the caregiver - especially if they are the children. It is situations like this that have me lifting, putting on muscle to try and make the most "good" years I can and not be a burden.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 8:42 am to martiansgohome
quote:
I think more multi-generational homes would be a positive for our country and completely side step this issue…
Discussed this with a friend of mine from India. There are no social programs. When the parents get old they give the home/ business to the children. Built in sitters for the grandkids for a while plus builds generational wealth as why support two households when one would do. Our country would be better off this way.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 8:45 am to SquatchDawg
I don’t know, we give up everything to raise children, but be damned if we expect anything in return.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 8:46 am to SquatchDawg
This is what you do for family. Or take them in to live with you.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 8:49 am to ChenierauTigre
quote:
My mother-in-law got dementia and had to go to long term care. $60+ per year for several years. Her two sons did not want to care for her. So all the money she worked for to leave them an inheritance was sucked dry.
This is what it boils down to. Barring some kind of sudden-death event almost everyone will be bankrupt or in a hell of a lot of debt when they retire. So everyone has to make their own choice…either you take care of your parents, or they will be forced to spend your inheritance on end-of-life care.
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