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re: Boomers and end of life care
Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:49 pm to SquatchDawg
Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:49 pm to SquatchDawg
Yeah man. Your wife’s father is dying and you take to the internet to gripe about your wife taking care of him. Don’t be a selfish twat.
This post was edited on 6/20/21 at 10:51 pm
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Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:58 pm to Doctor Strangelove
quote:
So, when you get sick and on your death bed you’re ok with being dumped in some heartless facility to die with no family or dignity? You realize these facilities are only free to the poor?
So when you get sick, you are ok with shitting all over your kids home? Are you ok with potentially causing the end of a marriage of your kid? Are you ok with inadvertently hurting their child? Are you ok with possibly causing significant injury to yourself and having their child or spouse find you in that state? All this shite and a hell of a lot more is possible with things like dementia and such.
This post was edited on 6/20/21 at 10:59 pm
Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:59 pm to Darth_Vader
The stubbornness and ignorance of the boomer generation and the world they created is appalling. The great reset is going to be healthcare companies taking all their money. CEO's doing insider trading, defrauding taxpayers, getting away with it all for free market capitalism. The easiest way to strip capital from the middle class is via necessities and that is housing, healthcare, food, and water.
After you do that you defraud the government or shareholders. (Looking at you Bill Frist)
After you do that you defraud the government or shareholders. (Looking at you Bill Frist)
Posted on 6/20/21 at 11:29 pm to Dam Guide
I’ve been staying with my dying father on and off for 3 weeks now. My sister and one of my brothers are rotating care for him. My other brother hasn’t stayed one night because his hip hurts. He is so weak he needs help to go sit on a potty chair and is miserable due to leukemia eating him alive. Some of the best conversations and moments I ever had with my father have been in the last few weeks.
I have a business, wife and family as well, but I’m here because I want to be and wouldn’t change a thing. He is so mortified when he soils himself or pisses himself but we just suck it up and clean him up and laugh while gagging. It’s hard to watch him dying, suffering so much. I just think its an honor to be able to comfort, console and love him in his final days, weeks and months.
So many are worried about being inconvenienced we miss a blessing in taking care of our own family.
I have a business, wife and family as well, but I’m here because I want to be and wouldn’t change a thing. He is so mortified when he soils himself or pisses himself but we just suck it up and clean him up and laugh while gagging. It’s hard to watch him dying, suffering so much. I just think its an honor to be able to comfort, console and love him in his final days, weeks and months.
So many are worried about being inconvenienced we miss a blessing in taking care of our own family.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 11:33 pm to SquatchDawg
Hopefully he fricks your entire family and just leaves the inheritance to someone like a dog or something... 
Posted on 6/21/21 at 3:02 am to SquatchDawg
Going through it now with wife’s parents. It really sucks. It’s not a new thing but seems more prevalent these days as medical advances keep people alive longer but not their quality of life or independence.
Posted on 6/21/21 at 10:35 am to Doctor Strangelove
Being a caregiver is never easy. As a single parent of two young boys, I cared for my brother, who was wheelchair-bound with MS. He deteriorated so fast that us other family members were wondering if it was ALS.
He moved into my sister’s house because it was too much for me after I had a sort of breakdown when I was diagnosed with the same fricking thing. But I have been lucky in that I started early with treatment. And I held a full-time job the entire time.
Anyway, our experience with home care people also includes theft and idiocy of the people sent to help him. He died of a misconfrickulation in communication between us and the doctors.
It’s mentally draining and I wish we were in support groups back then. Everyone doing caretaking should find a support group...I’m talking about all brothers, sisters, and parents, where applicable. A family should not consider their own immediate family as a support group. Caretakers need new ideas and experiences for help.
He moved into my sister’s house because it was too much for me after I had a sort of breakdown when I was diagnosed with the same fricking thing. But I have been lucky in that I started early with treatment. And I held a full-time job the entire time.
Anyway, our experience with home care people also includes theft and idiocy of the people sent to help him. He died of a misconfrickulation in communication between us and the doctors.
It’s mentally draining and I wish we were in support groups back then. Everyone doing caretaking should find a support group...I’m talking about all brothers, sisters, and parents, where applicable. A family should not consider their own immediate family as a support group. Caretakers need new ideas and experiences for help.
Posted on 6/21/21 at 11:00 am to Havoc
quote:
medical advances keep people alive longer but not their quality of life or independence
This point cannot be ignored. For those of you saying "throughout history people have cared for their elders" as a rationale for how we care for people today, you are missing a crucial part. Even 100 years ago we didn't have antibiotics, life-saving drugs, or general protection from disease we have today.
I don't think many of you realize just how incredibly long modern medicine can keep a body (barely) alive. Caring for a person 24/7 is physically and mentally exhausting. I think some of you are envisioning just putting on a pot of soup while you watch movies and reminisce about the good old days with your loved one.
Posted on 6/21/21 at 11:07 am to SquatchDawg
Went through it with my mom a few years ago. While she didn't demand we take care of her, the emotional pull to do so was certainly there. The worst part was after her stroke, she was 85% self-sufficient, but that 15% was too concerning to let her live at home by herself, so we spent a lot of money putting her in an assisted living facility.
My brother and I both took some FMLA time and lived with here for a few months immediately after her stroke. That put a strain on my marriage since I live an hour from where she was.
The whole thing just sucks, and the guilt I have over the feeling of relief when she died is still there. Not that I'm glad she died, but just getting my life back and not constantly worrying about her all day, every day.
My brother and I both took some FMLA time and lived with here for a few months immediately after her stroke. That put a strain on my marriage since I live an hour from where she was.
The whole thing just sucks, and the guilt I have over the feeling of relief when she died is still there. Not that I'm glad she died, but just getting my life back and not constantly worrying about her all day, every day.
Posted on 6/22/21 at 6:51 am to The Spleen
I'm really facing this upfront because my sisters are both in Colorado. I left Dallas 4 years ago to be closer to Mom due to textbook severe RA. As in can't drive, open a can of soup or doorknob. Whatever.
We could place her in a facility but she wouldn't last a month. So...
Figuring out end of life really needs to be like it used to be. Preperation. I'll take care of Lynda but it really bothers me to see someone never prepare and post a go fund me, BBQ fund raiser or silent auction. Redic.
Posted on 6/22/21 at 8:09 am to Doctor Strangelove
quote:
I’ve been staying with my dying father on and off for 3 weeks now. My sister and one of my brothers are rotating care for him. My other brother hasn’t stayed one night because his hip hurts. He is so weak he needs help to go sit on a potty chair and is miserable due to leukemia eating him alive. Some of the best conversations and moments I ever had with my father have been in the last few weeks.
What happens if it turns into years and your brother and sister bail? That’s what it was for one of my grandpas. It just got too much for the kids that were willing to do it.
This post was edited on 6/22/21 at 8:10 am
Posted on 6/22/21 at 8:14 am to SquatchDawg
quote:
I’m talking about 24 hour care and supervision for an older person that cannot be left alone.
I'm not in his position yet, but I would consider that pretty selfish, and not behaving like you love your loved ones.
I, for one, do not want my family burdened with caring for me at all. I want them to live their lives.
But there are a lot of dynamics to consider on that one.
Posted on 6/22/21 at 9:22 am to kywildcatfanone
I have done end of life care for two persons and it was the most difficult job ever had. Requires 24 hr/day commitment with actual time being spent doing something being 1-2 hr/day. Folks that want to help, should provide the caregiver with time away from the job, think in terms of an afternoon off.
I used 3 years of my life doing this, and did it only because it was the right thing to do.
Posted on 6/22/21 at 10:01 am to SquatchDawg
I have been lucky. I have had three grandparents that all needed hospice care. My dad's father I never met. He died before I was born. We took care of my grandpaw and grandmaw at their house. I lived with my grandmother at the time my grandpaw was sick. My grandmaw was only one block over when she took sick. For my other grandmaw, my dad was there to take care of along with my aunts and uncle. She died in the hospital and never made it home from her surgery for her gall bladder.
My Mom had cancer and died at her home. We took care of her there. I am assuming my Dad will find the same fate. It sucks either way. My great grandmaw was in a nursing facility and they stole from her and didn't take care of her.
My Mom had cancer and died at her home. We took care of her there. I am assuming my Dad will find the same fate. It sucks either way. My great grandmaw was in a nursing facility and they stole from her and didn't take care of her.
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