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Message
re: Boomers and end of life care
Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:11 am to La Place Mike
Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:11 am to La Place Mike
quote:
When a parent gets older they don't have the same reasoning or outlook as you do at your age
A lot of people on here never consider this fact, especially the younger ones with less life experience. They don’t yet realize that as you age you should gain experience and wisdom that changes your perspective on life.
0
Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:15 am to bayoudude
quote:
Discussed this with a friend of mine from India. There are no social programs. When the parents get old they give the home/ business to the children. Built in sitters for the grandkids for a while plus builds generational wealth as why support two households when one would do. Our country would be better off this way.
Great point about the financial benefits of not having to support multiple households. Not to mention the value of having young children consistently exposed to older generations that aren’t responsible for raising them.
This post was edited on 6/20/21 at 10:16 am
Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:16 am to SquatchDawg
Because that is what families have done since the beginning of time, usually the daughters
Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:17 am to fallguy_1978
quote:
Not at all my experience with dealing with boomer parents in declining health
You’re lucky. It happens a lot.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:24 am to Martini
I have similar, almost 10 years ago, I quit my job (67k) in an emergency to take care of a loved one who lived alone 2000 miles away, They became medically chair bound. I was single at the time and had the best ability to drop everything (broke up w/GF of 4 months). They lived alone, so I moved in, but it wasn't intended to be for long.
I decided to look for an assisted living facility to take care of her, and found a great place (5 miles away) that could take care of her & be close to friends... But she refused.
I found a job locally, and was looking for a duplex or a condo situation(two 1-bedrooms) where I could be close but live alone. She refused to move, and wanted me to come over in the morning and at night to prepare meals , hygiene, shopping, etc.
It became an issue, they were unwilling to "minimize their carbon footprint". They were upset that I wouldn't continue to live 'rent free' in their house....which they turned the living room into their 24/7 room with hospital bed & chair w/open style kitchen....so basically a large studio...that I and anyone who came over...would have to pass on the way to my bedroom.
It didn't work out and after almost 18 months, I gave up and left for a great job in another state.
So for the last six years, We pay non-professionals cash under the table to do basic chores, they buy groceries with food stamps and we give them cash. The type of people we've been able to hire has resulted in her pills getting stolen, money getting stolen, property getting stolen, One of them even stole her car (used for medical appointments)
That's the way she wants it, to be a burden and criminals taking care of her so that she can stay in her house versus understanding that she is a complete burden and try to minimize the imposition she puts on others.
As an FYI, her mother was chair bound for 15 years, and she didn't take care of her one day in her life, her sister took care of her mother, who left her house and moved into an in-law.
She's unwilling to do what her own mother did.
I decided to look for an assisted living facility to take care of her, and found a great place (5 miles away) that could take care of her & be close to friends... But she refused.
I found a job locally, and was looking for a duplex or a condo situation(two 1-bedrooms) where I could be close but live alone. She refused to move, and wanted me to come over in the morning and at night to prepare meals , hygiene, shopping, etc.
It became an issue, they were unwilling to "minimize their carbon footprint". They were upset that I wouldn't continue to live 'rent free' in their house....which they turned the living room into their 24/7 room with hospital bed & chair w/open style kitchen....so basically a large studio...that I and anyone who came over...would have to pass on the way to my bedroom.
It didn't work out and after almost 18 months, I gave up and left for a great job in another state.
So for the last six years, We pay non-professionals cash under the table to do basic chores, they buy groceries with food stamps and we give them cash. The type of people we've been able to hire has resulted in her pills getting stolen, money getting stolen, property getting stolen, One of them even stole her car (used for medical appointments)
That's the way she wants it, to be a burden and criminals taking care of her so that she can stay in her house versus understanding that she is a complete burden and try to minimize the imposition she puts on others.
As an FYI, her mother was chair bound for 15 years, and she didn't take care of her one day in her life, her sister took care of her mother, who left her house and moved into an in-law.
She's unwilling to do what her own mother did.
This post was edited on 6/20/21 at 10:27 am
Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:31 am to Kujo
quote:
criminals taking care of her
To be fair - criminals would be taking care of her at an old folks home too
Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:36 am to CitizenK
quote:
Because that is what families have done since the beginning of time, usually the daughters
Civilized societies treasure and respect their elders. Sadly, we are devolving into a narcissistic society where our elders are looked on with derision as “boomers”.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:39 am to SquatchDawg
.....i had both parents die from alzheimers...we took care of them with the help of a clinic...we were there a lot keeping an eye on things...it was nice to have others change my moms diapers and wash her..etc...you can spend more quality time with them if you pay others to do the nasty work...
i disagree with your FIL outlook and not the way i will handle it if/when i get there...i am a almost boomer..
i disagree with your FIL outlook and not the way i will handle it if/when i get there...i am a almost boomer..
Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:48 am to SquatchDawg
quote:
My wife was the main caregiver for her mom for over a year and it sucked the joy out of her. She still isn’t the same person.
When my dad came home from the hospital with hospice care, I was in a position where I could stay with him during the gaps. My stepmom had to keep working and 24 hr hospice care wasn’t financially viable. I was there (4) days a week 7-7.
Watching dad slowly die in front of me daily took its toll. I still can’t go back to the house. Haven’t stepped a foot in it since the day he died. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 10:55 am to Aubie Spr96
My dad died at home while I was on the way back down...I had come down for a couple of days and went back home when it looked as things were stable...
My mother's plan to have a life for a while fell apart when she fell and became bedridden.
My sister moved back in with her and was her primary caretaker until she died. She EARNED the house that my father built (with a lot of 2x4s carried by me) .
I’ve already instructed my daughters if things get that bad to put me in the veterans home where I won’t be a financial burden. One thing to know if you have a relative that's a veteran with a 70% service connected rating...the nursing home is FREE...
My mother's plan to have a life for a while fell apart when she fell and became bedridden.
My sister moved back in with her and was her primary caretaker until she died. She EARNED the house that my father built (with a lot of 2x4s carried by me) .
I’ve already instructed my daughters if things get that bad to put me in the veterans home where I won’t be a financial burden. One thing to know if you have a relative that's a veteran with a 70% service connected rating...the nursing home is FREE...
This post was edited on 6/20/21 at 5:06 pm
Posted on 6/20/21 at 11:00 am to SquatchDawg
There is an estimated 72 million boomers. Most of'em retired and pulling off the so-called Social Security Trust Fund (aka Ponzi Scheme). The same Social Security Trust Fund our pal Joe Xiden is spending on benefits for illegal aliens, handing out to foreign countries (including Iran), subsidizing Planned Parenthood (so they can kill off future S/S payers), and just plain stealing.
I was there, I watched the debate and vote when the crooked democrats (including Slo Joe Xiden) pulled a bait-and-switch on Social Security Employer-Employee S/S Taxes. It was a theft, pure and simple. Democrats are good at bait-and-switch.
But I digress. Behind those 72 million boomers? 42 million millennials. You do the math.
Facts are stubborn things - John Adams
I was there, I watched the debate and vote when the crooked democrats (including Slo Joe Xiden) pulled a bait-and-switch on Social Security Employer-Employee S/S Taxes. It was a theft, pure and simple. Democrats are good at bait-and-switch.
But I digress. Behind those 72 million boomers? 42 million millennials. You do the math.
Facts are stubborn things - John Adams
This post was edited on 6/20/21 at 1:26 pm
Posted on 6/20/21 at 11:09 am to SquatchDawg
Not reading 7 pages of 75% crap.. That is what the generation before him did for their parents and grandparents. Especially country or small town folks. It was a different time and situation. He seems like a crotchety arse frankly, and this coming from someone that did it for my mother. Finished off my marriage though.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 11:23 am to vl100butch
quote:
veterans home where I won’t be a financial burden.
Would you be open to a premier assisted living facility in the Philippines for $1,500/month?
Assisted Living-$1,500/month
Highest level care-$2,500/month
$1,500
quote:
Care Level
Our Assisted Living Package may include medication management and nursing services through our registered nurses, bathing assistance, dressing, bathroom assistance, and social activities carried out by licensed caregivers and social workers.
This Assisted Living Package is designed for seniors who only need slight assistance and can manage their daily activities with supervision and part assistance.
To know you Care Level we will do a Comprehensive Geriatric Assessment prior to your move in.
Above rates include:
Assistance and nursing care as defined by Care Plan
Social Activities
Private or semi-private room with
Care bed, Cabinet, Bathroom, 42’ flat screen TV, Wi-Fi access
24/7 air-conditioning
3 Meals and 2 snacks a day
Bed Linen and Towels
Private Laundry Services
Housekeeping services
Bi-annual check-up with our Geriatric physician
$2,500
quote:
Care Level
Our Care Level 2 package may include medication management and nursing services through our registered nurses, bathing, dressing, toileting, transferring and social activities carried out by licensed caregivers and social workers.
Care Level 2 is designed for seniors with high care needs, needing mostly full take over in most of their daily activities of life.
To know you Care Level we will do a Comprehensive Geriatric Assessment prior to your move in
Above rates include:
Assistance and nursing care as defined by Care Plan
Social Activities
Private or semi-private room with
Care bed, Cabinet, flat screen TV, Wifi access
24/7 air-conditioning
3 Meals and 2 snacks a day
Bed Linen and Towels
Private Laundry Services
Housekeeping services
Monthly check up with our Geriatric physician
LINK
Just $2k for dementia care package, which is assisted living $1500+$500 for a 24 hour personal assistant.
quote:
Our Dementia Care Package includes all the services of the Assisted Living Package plus the additional personalized care through a private companion. For seniors with dementia, human connection is of utmost importance, therefore we recommend the Dementia Care Package to those with a high need for individualized and personalized socialization. The companion might be assigned during daytime, nighttime or round the clock depending on the need of the resident
This post was edited on 6/20/21 at 11:26 am
Posted on 6/20/21 at 1:19 pm to jrobic4
What LTC insurance do you work with/sell? We’re comsideri g it but I’m afraid I’m being somewhat scammed
Posted on 6/20/21 at 1:52 pm to Kujo
How close is this to mudslides?
Posted on 6/20/21 at 2:03 pm to SquatchDawg
This story is very moving to me.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 2:08 pm to tiger91
quote:
What LTC insurance do you work with/sell? We’re comsideri g it but I’m afraid I’m being somewhat scammed
If you are healthy considef life insurance with "living benefits". It's less expensive and with level premiums.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 2:14 pm to SquatchDawg
quote:
Boomer parents expect their children to completely drop everything to come care for them and will not consider nursing or going to a facility.
My parents dropped everything they were doing to care for me for 18 years. You best believe I'm going to do whatever I can to take care of them when they need it.
Circle of life and all that shite.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 2:14 pm to La Place Mike
Now that you say this, I think that might actually be what they discussed with us.
Posted on 6/20/21 at 2:17 pm to Barstools
quote:
My parents could have aborted me, but decided on their own that they wanted to have and raise a Child for 18 years.
Freedom of choice
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